“Life is not about how hard you hit, but how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.” -Rocky Balboa

I mean that is like the ultimate “Do Over” quote, my work is done here.  There really is nothing else for me to write.

“If you want to get what you’re worth, go get it!”  Go out and get what you’re worth, but you gotta be willing to take the hits.  Like my good friend Mr. J Massey always says, “You’re gonna spend more money and do more work than you want to be successful.”  I always think… “What is success worth?”  The answer is subjective.  If you asked a million people that question, you’d certainly get a million different answers.  What is it worth to you?  What are you willing to do for it?  What are you willing to do to be successful for your family?  [Sorry, low blow]  Low blow, maybe?  But it’s worth thinking about, yes?

No excuses.  Cowards do that… and that ain’t you!  You are better than that!

I think it is safe to say that everybody wants to be successful at something.  The question is, how successful do we want to be?  Just successful?  Very successful?  The most successful?  Talent helps, but it alone falls short every time to enthusiasm and persistence.  In fact, after reading Geoff Colvin’s book Talent is Overrated I was left with the notion that although “talent” exists, it is irrelevant to higher achievement.  This can be a pivotal revelation for most people (it was for me), because most people have convinced themselves that they don’t have what it takes to succeed.  The suppressive influences that most people experience growing up could have conditioned you to believe success is for the talented, the lucky or the “already successful.”  If this is your belief, even remotely, you will want to read the chapter in Malcolm Gladwell’s book The Outliers about the 10,000 Hour Rule.  You will never entertain that notion again.

With the pursuit of success so ingrained in our society, why do so few people achieve it?  I have personally found that very few are prepared to make the sacrifices success takes.  So many are in search of a solution, a method, a program, a coach, a “silver bullet” way to become successful.  There are no shortcuts.  It will be more work than you want to do, and depending on your goals, cost you more money than you want to spend.  Is success a priority for you?  For the masses, being nice to be liked is higher on their list of priorities, whether consciously or subconsciously, than being successful.  A predominant need to be liked will hinder one’s attainment of success.  Strength and resilience are required.  Most when faced with a decision to stand their ground congruent with their goal will not because they feel by doing so they will not be liked, which is a ridiculous belief.  As Geoff Colvin writes in Talent is Overrated, and I will concur that, “being liked” is even more ridiculous.   Success escapes the majority of people because they; 1) feel it takes talent to succeed, 2) are endlessly searching for an easier way, and/or 3) are being nice to be liked.  Do any of these apply to you?

You have to put in the work.  Nobody is going to do it for you.

Now the question is… Would you rather be liked, or respected?

If there is something you want out of life that you do not currently have, consider there is only one thing that’s standing in your way.  If you guessed “fear,” you’re probably right.  In fact, I would bet on it.  Your fear might be disguised as some other expression like “I can’t afford it” or “I don’t have the time” or “It won’t work” or “I don’t know how.”  Whatever label you’re putting on it, it is fear all the same.  Someone once defined F.E.A.R. as False Evidence Appearing Real.  I wish I knew who originally said it… brilliant!

Having said that, fear is a real emotion.  While your fears may be just appearing as real, your mind experiences extreme difficulty in differentiating what is real and what is perceived as such.  The fact that your mind registers the signal of fear is enough to incapacitate your response and prevent you from moving forward.

To demonstrate how silly we can actually be as humans, I posted a video below walking you through an exercise I use to break through my fears, and how I help my students to do the same.  I recorded it a couple of months ago for a different purpose, but it seems so fitting for this post I thought I would share it with you.  It will work for anything, I promise!  What would your life look like if you had no fear?

If you are prone to making excuses, it is something you will want to change… immediately.  Using excuses to explain away your failures will not only stifle your progress, but stifle your growth and drastically limit your results.  People use excuses to let themselves off the hook for not giving it their all.  Taking responsibility for your actions, results and experiences is one of the most powerful disciplines a human can take on.  It is a discipline, an inherent character trait, of successful people.  By taking responsibility for your life, nothing or no one can get in your way.  Every person at some point comes to the epiphany that if I want to be successful, nobody is going to do it for me.  Certainly, friends, family, associates and your environment may contribute to your success, but if it is to be… it will be up to you – 100%.

I invite you to think back to your last failure, and think back to a big one.  Think back to one where there was something really important at stake.  Who, or what, do you blame for that failure?  Was it your age, health, gender, education, environment, race, friend, spouse, government, the economy… what was it?  Is it true?  Was it really to blame?  Or, was there something else you could’ve done before accepting failure?  Were there multiple things you could’ve done before accepting failure?  What did that excuse cost you?

Take responsibility for your actions, your results and your experiences and watch a new level of personal performance suddenly emerge.  Notice how your communication improves.  Notice how your relationships improve.  Notice how you will begin to receive assistance from people that had never moved a muscle for you before.  Notice how life actually becomes easier, because it will.  Even if it seems a little counter-intuitive at first, trust it.  Clarity around the power of responsibility will be created before you know it, and you will be able to use it as a tool to accomplish whatever you set your sights on.

Best practices:

1. Trust your abilities. We are all born for greatness and engineered for success.  Believe it.  You must have confidence in this belief before others will have confidence in you.
2. Look for the bright-side in every challenge you experience. Get in the habit of asking yourself in the face of adversity, “Is this really as bad as I’m making it mean?”
3. Focus on solutions instead of excuses. Specifically, always focus on what you want to have happen as opposed to what’s happening.  What else could I do to produce my desired result?
4. Be Lucky. Luck exists in the moment when preparedness meets opportunity.  Always be preparing.  Always be learning.  Always be practicing skills and improving your knowledge.

“In times of change learners will inherit the earth; while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.” –Eric Hoffer

Here’s my favorite resource to stay prepared and equipped for whatever future challenge or opportunity I may meet.  Perhaps it will become yours, as well?