How to Succeed… Even if You Don’t Deserve It, Have No Talent or No Hope | DO 12

It’s probably safe to say that everybody wants to be successful at something. The first question is, how successful do you want to be? The second question is, how do you succeed if you don’t deserve it, you have no talent, you seemed to have tried everything and have lost all hope?

The “Do Over Guy” reveals the invisible barrier that afflicts a great deal of the population, if not everybody. Awareness is the first step of how to succeed. If you don’t know what it is, how can you manage it? Once revealed, it can disappear and the sky is the limit!

How to SucceedIt’s probably safe to say that everybody wants to be successful at something. The first question is, how successful do you want to be? The second question is, how do you succeed if you don’t deserve it, you have no talent, you seemed to have tried everything and have lost all hope?

The “Do Over Guy” reveals the invisible barrier that afflicts a great deal of the population, if not everybody. Awareness is the first step of how to succeed. If you don’t know what it is, how can you manage it? Once revealed, it can disappear and the sky is the limit!

Your Do Over | Discover a Better Life | Get Lasting Results | Inspiration | Motivation | Success (mp3)

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Podcast Transcript:

Matt: Hey, this is Matt, “The Do Over Guy,” and this is Your Do Over: Episode 12.

Announcer: During an era where countless people, businesses, and organizations are feeling the pinch, running out of time, running out of money, losing confidence, feeling as if life is unfair, praying for another chance and unless something is done, life is going to pass them by. Life is going to pass them by.

Fortunately, in the nick of time, there is now a place where the ignored, underestimated and unknown steps to producing results and making life work are revealed. Save your career. Save your business. Save your health. Save your relationships. Save your life. Get from where you are to where you want to be, faster and with greater ease than you ever thought possible.  Say hello to Your Do Over.

Matt: Welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome to your Do Over, the place where once a week, you will hear, learn and take action on the ignored, underestimated and unknown steps to producing results.

This is the show where I, The Do Over Guy, show people dissatisfied with their current situation how to start over and begin a new life setting goals and objectives so they can ultimately create wealth and live life to the fullest and they can do it easier, faster, smarter.

To get a head start and lay a solid foundation for a better life for Your Do Over, I invite you to download the Three Pillars of Creating the Ultimate Do Over for free at FreeDoOver.com. It’s a 55-minute mp3 audio program that I made just for you with three specific steps on how to get success as you start over.

It doesn’t matter what you’re starting over. They will lay the foundation for you to achieve. Think of it as your traveling success coach, and it’s yours for free at FreeDoOver.com.

So you’re starting a new life, right? Now what? Or maybe you haven’t started it yet, but you’re contemplating it or you’ve at least thought about it.

Okay, maybe it’s not a new life you’re starting over. Maybe it’s a new career. Maybe it’s a new relationship, a new business, a new job. Maybe you’re trying out a new church or a new book of the month club, whatever it may be.

We’ve all said to ourselves at some point, “If I only knew then what I knew now.” The beauty of hindsight, right?

Well, knowing that as you start over, or Do Over, if you will, it’s worth implementing the power of hindsight and investigating to what derailed you the last time around, to make sure that what went awry last time is not repeated this time.

So let’s not make the same mistakes twice. If you continue to do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got. I know you’ve heard that before; I know. Or you’ve probably even said it before, too. Maybe many times like I do. I say it all the time.

But are you applying that knowledge? Knowledge in of itself, it’s essentially useless. Sure, knowledge important and it represents potential use or potential power, but only if it’s applied does knowledge serve any purpose. Only if it’s applied does it represent power.

Now I know you have the knowledge to not repeat the same mistakes, because ultimately, we all know what to do. If we look deep down enough, we all know exactly what to do, but so few of us do what we know.

You see, you’re enrolled essentially in a full-time informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or hate them, but you will not be able to escape them. You see, they are a part of your curriculum, so to speak.

There are no mistakes in life. There are only lessons. There is no failure. There is only feedback. It’s from these lessons we grow. You see, growth is a process. It’s a normal, natural process and it’s a process of trial and error, experimentation. The failed experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately works. The lessons come within your failures and they come within your “successes.”

Here’s the great part, though, of this school. If you don’t understand the lesson the first time, the school of life will give you another chance to get it right. In fact, it will repeat the lesson until you do learn and ultimately get it.

And these lessons, they’ll be presented to you in various forms, situations, scenarios, by different people, organizations or even nature itself. They’ll be presented to you until they are learned. Each lesson will be presented to you over, and over and over until you get it. And once you get it, then and only then, can you go on to the next lesson.

You see, the learning never ends in life. Every facet, it contains its lessons. And the great part about this school of life, there are no corridors, there are no semesters, there are no trimesters. You can go through this school at your own pace. In fact, it’s easier to learn fast than it is slow. That’s the good news. But ultimately, it is your choice.

A major part of my work as the Do Over Guy is to help you identify what stopped or hindered your previous successes, to learn from the past, to take these lessons and apply them to your future so your future is better than your past.

We’re here to look at what got in your way. What was it that happened that has you in a position contemplating starting over in the first place? Was it just one thing? A few things? Was it many things?

You might know the answer to those questions, or you might not, but what I find most of the time is that people think they know. But ultimately, they haven’t got a clue as to why they failed or why they continue to fail.

Most of what thwarts peoples’ success are invisible barriers. There’s something in their blind spot. Since they can’t see it, they can’t manage it.

So today, I’m going to lead you through an inquiry and offer some suggestions to help distinguish what has prevented, and likely consistently prevents, you from reaching the levels of achievement that you desire, that’s preventing you from getting what you want.

Once these invisible barriers begin to surface, once they are revealed, your consciousness, your awareness, are going to help you to control them.

For this inquiry to be effective, I’m going to need your participation. I’m going to need you to be open. First, I’m going to need you to consider – just consider – what you believe interfered with your success is not what interfered with your success.

For example, if your last endeavor failed because a funding source fell through at the last minute, consider that it was not the funding source at all. Just consider that wasn’t it.

Or if your last relationship failed because the mother-in-law would not stay out of your business, consider it was not the mother-in-law at all. Just consider it.

The cause of failure may have been that funding source or it might have been that mother-in-law, but I need you to be open to look elsewhere if we’re going to reveal your invisible barriers. Those are your visible barriers. We know those were there. But it’s typically the invisible barriers that cause the biggest challenges in us succeeding. So my request is just to be open.

Second, consider what I suggest during this inquiry. Just consider it. Play along. Think of this as trying on a pair of sunglasses. We’re going to try on several pairs. We’re going to look in the mirror and decide if they fit. And if they don’t fit, you’re going to put them right back on the rack and try on a new pair. Are you with me?

In other words, I’ll be offering suggestions and asking questions throughout this inquiry. And when I ask a question, that is when it’s time to stop for you. Stop, try on the sunglasses, consider them, be open and think, answer the questions to yourself and if something hits home, make a note of it and when the inquiry is complete, we can refer to these notes. They reveal those hidden barriers. They pull things out of those blind spots and pull them into your awareness.

Now if nothing comes up for you, if you don’t like the way the sunglasses fit, then just continue listening. No problem.

Now the inquiry for the day for this episode is: how do you find success? You see, your definition of success will typically be a clue as to what hinders your success.

So what is success? Literally, success is a favorable or prosperous conclusion to an endeavor. You’ll notice there’s nothing in that definition that says success is fame and fortune. It’s simply the desirable completion of an attempt.

Now whatever the desired outcome of that attempt, it’s entirely up to you. Always. You get to choose your own definition of success. The root of most people’s definition of success, however, is given to them by comparing themselves to others.

Now regardless of how you came up with your current definition of success, what is your relationship to it? Success has also been defined as the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal? The operative word from this definition is progressive. Success is progressive and ongoing. It’s a journey; it’s not a destination. There’s nowhere to get.

See, both definitions, in my opinion, they’re accurate. One has a definite end and one is defined as a journey. I’d really see it as success is an ongoing series of completed events.

This is really important to understand because so many people delay their happiness for that day when they are successful. That day is not coming. Let me clarify. A day may come where you feel you’ve achieved some sort of success, but it will not last, and that day is merely a break in the journey.

Here’s what I mean by that. I’ve spoken to countless successful people, and I have the experience myself as well, and they all have this in common. They eventually ponder the question: is this all there is? Typically, once they realize, “Yes, this is it,” they resume the journey.

A cardinal tenant of success is recognizing that it is a journey and there’s really nothing for you to do other than enjoy the ride.

Given that everybody has different goals and different ideals, the exact definition of success will be different for everybody. That’s understandable. But what you’ll always want to stay in tune with is this. Did you create your own definition of success or did someone else give it to you?

You see, success is whatever you want it to be. Perhaps success relates to your profession, your hobby, your hobby, your relationships or your studies. You really get to choose for you.

Many people, however, unknowingly sabotage their success by comparing themselves to others. For example, let’s say earning $100,000 a year is a successful level of earning for you, until you learn your neighbor earns $200,000 a year. You then change your definition of success and strive to earn $200,000, until you learn that your brother-in-law earns $300,000. You then set your eyes on the $300,000 a year while you have yet to do what it takes to achieve $100,000.

You now find yourself discouraged and so focused on someone else’s definition of success that yours never really manifests, or maybe it does but never feels like it does.

You see, many end up chasing that proverbial carrot. You know the little carrot they dangle in front of the horse? It gets the horse moving, but the horse never actually gets the carrot.

So comparing yourself to others is a journey that is really impossible to enjoy. Just like that horse never really gets to enjoy that carrot. It leads to disappointment. Nothing is ever enough.

You see, happiness and satisfaction are you going to elude you if you compare your success to that of others. So be careful of that. it’s a trap. Define what success is to you and stick to it. Once you reach it, you can then create a new definition.

I think it’s safe to say that everybody wants to be successful at something. The question is how successful do we want to be? Do we want to be moderately successful, very successful or do we want to be the most successful?

Talent, it helps. But enthusiasm and persistence are key. They are the key ingredient. Enthusiasm and persistence. In fact, just before I began to write Do Over, I finished reading “Talent is Overrated” by Jeff Colvin. Great book. I recommend you go get it.

I was left with a notion that although talent exists, it is essentially irrelevant to higher achievement. As this was for me, I know it can be a pivotal revelation for most people because most people have convinced themselves that they don’t have what it takes to succeed. They don’t believe they’re good enough. They haven’t got “it.”

And the suppressive influences that most people experience growing up, they could’ve conditioned them to believe that success is for the talented, success is for the lucky, the privileged, the fortunate or people that are already successful, only successful people get more successful.

And if this is your belief, even remotely, read the chapter in Malcolm Gladwell’s book, “The Outliers,” about the 10,000-hour rule. That right there could fill up a podcast episode all by itself.

But if you read that and you understand the 10,000-hour rule, you will never really entertain that notion again. Talent is overrated. So if you don’t think you’re talented, this is not the end of the road for you. Enthusiasm and persistence win.

Now with the pursuit of success so engrained in our society, why do so few people achieve it? I’ve personally found that very few people are prepared to make the sacrifices success takes. So many are in search of a solution, a method, a program, a coach or a silver bullet way to become successful.

What you want to get really clear about is that there is no easy or instant solution. The only road to success is through consistent, focused action, mistakes – lots of mistakes – and refused action. There are no shortcuts. It’s going to be more work than you want to do, and depending on your goals, it’s going to require more money than you want to spend. Enthusiasm and persistence. Not talent or a magic success pill will elevate you to the level of success to which you aspire.

And for the masses, as ridiculous as this sounds, being liked is higher on their list of priorities whether consciously or subconsciously than being successful. A predominant need to be liked is going to hinder one’s attainment of success. It’s going to get in the way of your achievement. Strength and resilience are required.

Really, would you rather be liked or would you rather be respected? When you’re asked the question in that context, I think a lot of us will agree that being liked is overrated.

Kobe Bryant has that Nike commercial where he lays out all of the qualities of why he’s hated: because he’s so focused and he’s so determined. Then at the very end, he acknowledges “And I’m loved for the exact same reasons.” Great commercial, but he’s got respect.

And most, when faced with the decision to stand their ground congruent with their goal will not because they’re afraid that nobody will like them if they do, which is ridiculous. That’s a ridiculous belief and it gets in your way.

Now I’m not suggesting you have to be a jerk to be successful. But if you have so much focus on not being a jerk and to make sure people like you, you’re going to live a life of severe limits. Staying true to yourself, standing your ground and commanding respect are force multipliers. With this type of determination, without regard to whether you are liked or not, you can become much stronger than without it.

It’s truly, truly amazing what a single, determined individual with a clear purpose can achieve. If you were to subtract perhaps the top 100 such people from history out of the billions of people that have walked the planet, we’d probably still be living in caves. I’d be chipping away with my stone tools and distributing my podcasts on stone tablets showing you how to organize your rock collection or something.

Success escapes the majority of people because they believe it takes talent to succeed, are endlessly searching for an easier way and/or are being so nice so that other people will like them. Do any or all of these apply to you?

Regardless of the level of success you are striving for, your success will perpetually exceed your grasp as long as one of these three barriers are present.

Here’s another inquiry, another question I think is worth asking. Are you afraid of success? You know, without hesitation most people respond, “Are you crazy? If I were afraid of it, why would I be listening to a podcast on how to obtain it?”

Maybe not. But that was my response the first time I was asked that question. Then I looked a little deeper, and after an honest self-inquiry, the question didn’t seem so absurd.

Think about it. I just drew your attention to how many do not achieve success because they are more concerned with being liked. Another reason so few achieve success is because they are unwilling to make the sacrifices required for its attainment.

So if you are afraid of not being liked, then you are essentially afraid of success. If you are unwilling to or afraid of making the necessary sacrifices, then you are afraid of success. Fear of success, it’s an expression of inadequacy accompanied by the belief that we don’t deserve to achieve.

Further guilt is often experienced when we do better than expected. And when you feel inadequate or unworthy of success, you will repeatedly fall short resulting in the curse of permanent potential. You’ll always be living in that world of what could’ve been, that world of regret – a very painful emotion if you’ve never experienced it.

Are you afraid of success? If you’ve reluctantly changed your answer to, “Yes, maybe I am,” don’t worry. Keep listening to these podcasts and I’ll show you how to use fear as a resource. Your fear of suggest or just fear overall is essentially your most powerful resource. It can become your most powerful ally. Imagine that. So stick around and we’ll go through that as well.

So here’s another inquiry. Do you deserve to succeed? You may be pursuing that worthy goal, but do you believe you are worthy enough to achieve it? People tend to go through life with a sense of entitlement, different levels of course. I call this sense of entitlement your deserve meter. Who you are today and how successful you are I believe is in direct proportion to what you think you deserve.

Is your deserve meter set above or below your goals? What you think you deserve will manifest itself. That’s what will come about. So what do you think you deserve? Do you deserve to succeed?

Whether you feel you do not have what it takes to succeed, you fear success or you feel undeserving of success, the bottom line is you have a responsibility to succeed. People do not realize that they can make a difference and they are unaware it is their responsibility to do so.

It is impossible to live a complete life unless you succeed. Your highest level of happiness will be found in the giving to loved ones. Now in order to give, you must have. And in order to have, in our world, you must succeed.

In his 1994 inaugural speech, Nelson Mandela, he addressed it all. He addressed fear, he addressed merit, he addressed contribution, he addressed responsibility and he did it all by reading this excerpt from one of Marianne Williamson’s writings. Perhaps you’ve heard it; maybe you haven’t.

For those of you that have, you will find it tough to deny that it doesn’t move you to some extent every single time you hear it. “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Miss Williamson pretty much captured the essence of what I’m talking about in one small paragraph and with greater sophistication and beauty than anyone I’ve ever known or heard. It is your right and responsibility to succeed.

Your family and loved ones deserve your success. You deserve it. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

I attended a seminar years ago [21:41 inaudible] speaker. I had never heard of him before, and actually I still don’t remember his name, but I’ll never forget him. I’ll never forget his message. He stepped up on stage and held a crisp $100 bill up in the air and he said to a room of over 500 people, “Raise your hand if you’d like this $100 bill.” Every hand went up in the air and he said, “In just a moment, I’m going to give it to one of you, but first, let me do this.” He crumbled up the $100 bill in both hands and said, “Raise your hand if you still want it.”

Without surprise, every hand still went up in the air. “Well, what if I do this?” he said. And he proceeded to drop the $100 bill on the ground and he mashed it into the floor with his shoe. After picking it up, the crisp $100 bill sat in his hand dirty and wrinkled. He asked, “Now who wants it?”

You see, this guy taught a very valuable lesson that day. I share it with you right now because it seems so perfect as it applies to so many people, and businesses and organizations. In our country and the people of our county are really in a tough spot, because you see, no matter what he did to that $100 bill, everyone in the room still wanted it. The condition of the $100 bill did nothing to decrease its value. It was still worth $100. So often in our lives, we – you and I – get crumbled up, dropped to the ground, kicked to the curb, we get mashed into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that life throws our way.

And that feeling of down and out and that worthless feeling, that sense of not being good enough, it can be overwhelming and it can be debilitating, but no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.

Whatever it is that you’re going through, it too will pass and the best is yet to come. Regardless of your condition, clean or dirty, finely creased or all crumpled up, you are still a treasure to this world and you’re a treasure to those that love you. The value of our lives is not given to us by what we do or who we know, but by who you are.

You can succeed and you deserve to succeed. You’ve got a second chance. You can Do Over. You deserve to succeed. Don’t ever forget it. I’ll leave you today with that thought.