How to Turn Your Life Around in an Instant! | DO 13

When faced with adversity, how do you respond? What is your pattern of action? Are you even aware of what it is? Are you even aware that you have one? Whether you are aware or not, you have a pattern that dictates what happens next. In this episode, Matt shows you how to shift your focus, take control of this pattern and turn your life around in an instant so that you’re always getting closer to your goals.

“A dead-end street is a good place to turn around.” -Naomi Judd

Turn Your Life Around in an Instant!When faced with adversity, how do you respond? What is your pattern of action? Are you even aware of what it is? Are you even aware that you have one? Whether you are aware or not, you have a pattern that dictates what happens next. In this episode, Matt shows you how to shift your focus, take control of this pattern and turn your life around in an instant so that you’re always getting closer to your goals.

“A dead-end street is a good place to turn around.” -Naomi Judd

Your Do Over | Discover a Better Life | Get Lasting Results | Inspiration | Motivation | Success (mp3)

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Podcast Transcript:

Matt: Hey, this is Matt, “The Do Over Guy.” Glad to be back online. And this is Your Do Over: Episode 13.

Narrator: During an era where countless people, businesses, and organizations are feeling the pinch, running out of time, running out of money, losing confidence, feeling as if life is unfair, praying for another chance and unless something is done, life is going to pass them by. Life is going to pass them by.

Fortunately, in the nick of time, there is now a place where the ignored, underestimated and unknown steps to producing results and making life work are revealed. Save your career. Save your business. Save health. Save your relationships. Save your life. Get from where you are to where you want to be, faster and with greater ease than you ever thought possible.  Say hello to Your Do Over.

Matt: Welcome to Your Do Over, the place where once a week, you will hear, learn and take action on the ignored, underestimated and unknown steps to producing results.

This is the show where I show people dissatisfied with their current situation how to start over and begin a new life, setting goals and objectives so they can create wealth and live life to the fullest easier, faster, smarter.

To get a head start and lay a solid foundation for a better life – there’s always room for improvement, right? – I invite you to download the Three Pillars of Creating the Ultimate Do Over for free at FreeDoOver.com. It’s a 55-minute mp3 audio program that I made just for you with three specific steps on how to get success as you start over.

It doesn’t matter what you’re starting over. They will lay the foundation for you to achieve. Think of it is as your traveling success coach, and it’s yours for free at FreeDoOver.com.

I’m broadcasting live from downtown Los Angeles. I’m sure some of you have been wondering where I’ve been. Well, I’ve had a little bit of a challenge with iTunes for reasons unknown to me, and after further investigation, unknown to iTunes as well.

They removed my podcast and all of its episodes from the iTunes store. It’s a big mystery. They don’t know why; I don’t know why. I’ve read their terms and policies in great detail and there was no violation. I don’t understand why. They’ve reviewed everything; they don’t understand why either.

The good news is I’m back in the iTunes store. But unfortunately (here’s the bad news), I lost all of my subscribers in the process and I have to start over. That’s six months of work that’s not necessarily down the drain, because I’ve had a great time doing this and it’s been an amazing learning experience. But I’ve got to be able to regenerate my subscriber list. My podcast is essentially finding itself in the middle of a Do Over of its own.

iTunes didn’t have an explanation for me and really nothing to say but “Sorry.” They were gracious enough to give me five free song downloads. I don’t know what that’s going to do for me, but it was nice. It showed their gesture. They were very nice and seemingly empathetic. There’s not a whole lot they can do; at least that’s what they told me.

I guess it’s just one of those things. Life happens. It’s not the end of the world. In the grand scheme of things, it’s a podcast; no big deal.

So if this is your first time here, you probably have no idea as to what I’m talking about. And that’s okay. I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad you found me, and I’m actually glad you found me after this happened.

Now if you have found me again, welcome back. I am grateful that you took the time to search me out. I know you have so many options out there for your entertainment, and for your education and for your recreational time. I’m grateful I’m one of your choices. As always, I’m committed to making this always worth your while.

If you know anybody that was a subscriber – I doubt it. The Internet is a really large expanding universe, so to speak. If you know somebody, however, that was a subscriber or a listener, let them know that I’m still here; I’m just in a different place. They’re going to have to log back into iTunes and hit that subscribe button again and they’ll be back in communication with me.

You see, when this happened, I have no way of communicating with those past subscribers. I have no way of getting back in touch with them, so if you can help me out, I would really appreciate it.

This whole situation gave me an opportunity to practice what I preach, which I guess is never a bad thing. One of those things I always preach is whenever you’re faced with adversity – I coach other people in doing this and I even coach myself, and that command I make to myself is “Stop focusing on what’s happening. Stop focusing on what’s happening and focus on what you want to have happen.”

Just by redirecting your focus in that way, you start thinking differently, you start speaking differently, and you start taking different actions. You take productive actions. You start taking actions that will actually make a difference and keep you moving forward.

The way I redirect that focus is through the use of questions; specifically the questions that I ask myself. As we go through life when we go through our days, we’re always evaluating. Whether that’s consciously or subconsciously, we’re always evaluating.

Do I make a left turn or a right turn here? Is my food too hot or is it too cold? Should I take the day off or should I go to work?

Whatever it may be, you’re always making these evaluations and those evaluations are questions that you ask yourself. Quality questions create a quality life and successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.

You’ll be asking yourself questions all day long. Right now, you’re probably asking, “Do I ask myself questions all day long?” Well, there’s another question. That’s just the thought process that goes through our heads.

Whether you are aware of it are not, it’s happening. Just awareness of that is empowering and it allows you to use those questions to keep your life, keep you on track, moving towards whatever it is you aspire.

It’s this practice that is as responsible for my successful Do Over as any other is. It’s the use of questions. The use of properly-asked questions is one of your most valuable tools in getting to where you want to go.

That has to do with whether you are asking questions of someone else or if you’re asking questions of yourself. Specifically, today, we’re going to talk about the questions that we ask ourselves.

I’ve come to know and trust that my brain, and yours – I know most of us, we’ve probably never met – but I trust that your brain will remarkably answer any question asked of it.

Here’s a great example I use all the time. This illustrates it so perfectly, and I use this with others, I use it with myself, all the time.

Any time the response to a question is, “I don’t know…” For example, “How do I get to the local Home Depot?” Whatever it may be, if you were just asked a basic question and your answer was, “I don’t know,” I immediately follow the response with, “If you did know, what would the answer be?”

Now this is not groundbreaking, I know. Many of you listening to this have heard this question asked, and likely, multiple times from various people and various environments. It oftentimes is received as a flippant, and sarcastic or maybe even in a jesting response.

But if you ignore the irreverent and cheeky tone that often accompanies the question, you’ll notice it almost always evokes an answer where there wasn’t one before.

I don’t really understand how this mocking question, “If you did know, what would your answer be?” stimulates the brain to answer, but it does almost every single time. Actually, any question stimulates an answer, but I’m using this specific question because it shows there’s an answer where one might not be so obvious.

So what the question demonstrates is that the brain will provide an answer with relative ease in the face of no answer. And for those very rare times it doesn’t provide an answer, the next question is, “How or where could you find out?”

You see, the pitfall most people fall into is that they fail to ask another question after the response, “I don’t know.” They stop. They give up there.

So if you find yourself saying, “I don’t know,” ask yourself, “If I did know, what would the answer be? If I did know, what would I say? If I did know, what would I do?”

The human brain is the most powerful computer in the world, and you own one free and clear, and it will answer any question you ask it. Like I said, of all the personal development information I’ve injected into my mind, this one concept quite possibly has had the greatest impact on my success. From that concept, I have developed two rules that I live by with regard to questions.

Rule number one: Ask yourself the right questions, empowering questions.

Rule number two: Answer the questions honestly and authentically.

So what do I mean by empowering questions? Well, based on the commonality that most people do not ask themselves empowering questions, perhaps it’s easier to illustrate the answer by giving you some examples of disempowering questions.

Why does this always happen to me? That’s a question we commonly ask of ourselves. Why does this always happen to me? Oh, no, not this again; why me?

If you ask yourself, “Why does this happen to me?” the brain is going to answer it and it’s not going to give you really good, positive answers. It’s going to give you answers that probably make you feel worse.

So if you ask yourself, “Why does this always happen to me?” your brain might come up with, depending on your situation, but it might come up with, “Well, you’re not smart enough; that’s why.” Or, “You’re too slow; that’s why.” Or, “You’re fat; that’s why.” Or, “You don’t have the talent; that’s why.”

Whatever it may be, it’s not going to be a positive response. Or, “Why can’t I ever get a break?” That’s another question people ask of themselves. That’s one that I’ve often asked myself. I’ve had multiple Do Overs in my world of entrepreneurship and oftentimes, I’ve felt like that.

Or, “Why don’t I ever win?” That’s another question we might ask ourselves. Or, “Why does the other guy always get the promotion?” “Why do the good things always happen to someone else?”

If you’re asking yourself those types of questions, you are going to get answers. But the answers to those questions are disempowering. They’re probably going to make you feel worse. They’re probably going to keep you idle in whatever situation you’re in. They’re not going to move the conversation forward. They’re not going to move you forward. They’re not going to move you closer to your goals.

So of those questions I just asked, do any of those sound familiar? Do you ask yourself, “Why does this always happen to me? Why can’t I ever get a break? Why don’t I ever win? Why does the other guy always get the promotion?”

These types of questions elicit a negative answer that will undoubtedly inspire negative thinking, and we know where that leads.

Well, instead of asking, “Why does this always happen to me,” try replacing that with a question like, “How can I minimize the possibility of this happening again?” Or, “Where’s the opportunity in this situation?”

You’ll find with a little bit of attention and intention that answers to what afflicts you will come to the forefront of your thinking easier and more quickly than you ever thought possible.

Once your brain has revealed an answer or two, and there will be multiple answers if you keep asking, the key is to focus on the answers and then act.

So where is the opportunity in iTunes removing my podcasts? That was a question I had to ask myself. How can I limit the possibility of this happening again? How can I turn this into a good thing?

These are the types of questions I ask myself after I discovered iTunes removed all of my episodes. Well, after I cooled off, I should say. It took me a while. I said some things that probably weren’t very empowering.

But once I got my wits back with me and I cooled off, I asked myself these questions. I came up with some great answers.

I built my entire following of this podcast. I built the entire following of this podcast with zero promotion. So here’s an opportunity to investigate some podcast promotions to get my subscribers back, to rebuild that list.

My subscribers just accumulated so fast, I never seemed to have felt the need to look for podcast promotions. But here’s an opportunity to ask you to spread the world for me. I had never even asked for referrals before. I never even thought to.

So if you know somebody that would benefit from this podcast, maybe you can suggest it to them. You could help me out a little bit.

Here’s an opportunity to pick up my production schedule and maybe catch the eye of someone at iTunes. Perhaps I can iTunes directly for some front-page exposure to make amends. I never even thought of asking. I wanted it, but I never thought of asking for it.

And as you can see, by asking a more empowering question, where’s the opportunity in iTunes removing my podcast? I get different answers. I got some great answers by going through this exercise and I’ll be implementing everything I came up with.

That’s key, by the way. This is all for nothing if you don’t take action on those ideas. That’s rule number one: ask the right questions. Ask empowering questions.

Rule number two says that you have to answer them honestly and authentically. Some of my biggest results have been produced by getting real with myself, answering my questions honestly and completely. Completely unfiltered.

For example, when experiencing a lull in my direct sales business a couple years ago, I had to ask myself, “Am I doing everything I know to do? Am I doing what I know to do to the best of my ability?”

These are two questions that can serve you in many different areas of your life, actually. But only if you’re honest with the answer.

One of the innate characteristics of the human being is to avoid responsibility. We hate responsibility. It’s one of the two things that we avoid as human beings. We hate responsibility.

So if you were to ask yourself, “Am I doing everything I know to do? Am I doing what I know to do to the best of my ability?” and you take responsibility for your own actions, for your own experience, you can move mountains with those answers.

You see, I find that in most situations we all know exactly what to do. Where we fall short is doing what we know. So do yourself a favor and check in with yourself every once in a while with those two questions. This might be your business. It might be your career. It might be your relationship at home with your wife or your husband. It might be your relationship with your kids.

If a relationship is suffering, am I doing everything I know to do to create good relationships? Am I doing what I know to create good relationships to the best of my ability? Those are empowering questions and they’ll give you empowering answers.

But old habits, they can be tough to break. We ask these questions all day long and we’re completely unaware of it. It’s habitual.

But now that you’re conscious of it and you’re conscious of what can be created by asking these questions with intent and not just letting your brain run on autopilot, you can make a significant difference. You can start to transform your life today, really.

So when first setting out to implement the practice of asking yourself these empowering questions, it can be difficult to, one, stop yourself before asking a disempowering question, and two, formulating consistently, effective empowering questions.

So knowing that, from experience, my own personal experience, I’ve assembled a list of 25 empowering questions that I have found useful in getting me out of potentially sticky situations.

So until you get the hang of formulating the most effective and empowering questions for your yourself, feel free to use, modify, and share some of mine. I’ll put all of these questions in the show notes so you can go and look at them later.

But right now, just listen with me. I’m going to ask you some questions and I just want you to answer them in your brain; answer them in your head. Think about what situations or scenarios that you can use these questions. Some of them are business related; some of them might apply to your personal life. Whatever it may be.

But by asking yourself empowering questions, you can start transforming your life into the life that you really want it to be.

  1. If money weren’t an object, would this be a good decision?
  2. If money weren’t an object, would this decision be in alignment with my dreams and/or morals?
  3. What can I do right now that would move me one step closer to my goal?

You find yourself, “I’m just bored,” or “I don’t know what to do.” Ask yourself a question like, “What can I do right now that would move me at least one step closer to my goals?” Or when faced with adversity, “How can I minimize the impact of this problem?” or “How can I minimize the possibility of this problem reoccurring?” Empowering questions are going to give you great, great answers.

Here’s a great series of questions I ask myself every once in a while: Am I enviable? If not, why not? How can I make myself more enviable? That’s a great question. It’s going to cause you to stop and look at your life of what’s not enviable in your life, what’s not pretty, what’s not attractive, what’s mediocre in your life.

Here’s a great question you can apply to almost everything. What’s the next step? Who do I know that could help me with this? Is there anyone that I can delegate this to? Is this the best use of my time or should I hire someone else to do it? I use Elance all the time to find people – freelancers – to do certain tasks for me.

What can I do that would make me even more effective? What can I learn from this?

These are all great questions that give me great, great answers all day long.

Here’s one of my favorite ones. I add this at the end of most of my questions. If I have a problem or a challenge that I’m faced with, I’ll ask myself, “How can I turn this problem around and enjoy the process?”

If you take these questions and you add that to the end “and enjoy the process,” you’re going to get very different answers. You’re going to get answers that create something that you want to do. And we all know when we want to do something, we do it. If we have to do it, sometimes we put it off, sometimes we procrastinate – maybe more times than others.

But if we come up with solutions, if we ask ourselves, “How can I turn this problem around and enjoy the process?” or if I took some of the previous questions I already asked, “What’s the next step and how can I do it and enjoy the process?” or “How can I minimize the possibility of this problem recurring and enjoy the process?” “How can I make myself more enviable and enjoy the process?” “What can I do right now that would move me one step closer to my goal and enjoy the process?”

If you put that “and enjoy the process” at the end of your questions, your brain is going to answer whatever you ask of it. So if part of the criteria to that answer is enjoying the process, you’re going to get different answers.

That’s just half of them right now. All of these questions will be in the show notes. There’s another 12 or 13 to go. But go ahead and take a look at them and start implementing them. Start asking yourself these questions during the day, during when you’re faced with adversity, when you’re faced with challenges and problems.

Even when things are going good, maybe they could be going even better. And they’re so effective. So start using these in your Do Over. Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.

That’s it for this episode. Check back in with me in a few days. I’m going to make up for some lost time. I’m going to pick up right from here, and together, we’re going to start creating a compelling future for you to live in, too.

What that is is creating a vision of your future that has you spring out of bed in the morning touched, moved, and inspired to take action in your Do Over. Getting out of bed every day like it were Christmas, what would a life like that look like, like every day were a Saturday or every day was the first day of summer vacation? How does a life like that sound?

Join me next time and we’ll start creating that life just for you.

If you like what you heard today and/or if there’s something you’d like to hear more of, please visit iTunes at your convenience and leave your comments and suggestions. Along with losing all of my subscribers, I also lost all of the great comments you provided. I lost all of your great ratings and all of your suggestions.

So if you could do me a favor and go back to iTunes and recreate those comments for me, maybe they’re better, maybe you’ve got some more criticism for me. I don’t know. Whatever it is. But I just appreciate your participation.

What that does is it helps build my credibility inside of iTunes, and I come up more often and it increases my visibility. Unfortunately, with the lost subscribers, I lost all of that as well. So whatever you can do to help me out, I really appreciate it. Hopefully, you’re getting value with this. If you’re not getting value from this podcast, let me know how I can provide even more value for you. Much appreciated.

I am Matt, the Do Over Guy, and I will see you next time on Your Do Over.

Narrator: Thank you for tuning in to Your Do Over, where the ignored, underestimated, and unknown steps to producing results and making life work are revealed. And remember, knowledge is potential power. Take action on what you learned today. This is not your learn over. It’s Your Do Over.

To view the resources referenced in today’s show and to receive a complete show transcript, visit www.TheDoOverGuy.com. Stay connected with Matt, the Do Over Guy, Theriault on Twitter at TheDoOverGuy and on Facebook at www.facebook.com/dooverguru

25 Empowering Questions

1. If money weren’t an object, would this be a good business decision?

2. If money weren’t an object, would this decision be in alignment with my dreams and/or morals?

3. What can I do right now that would move me one step closer to my goal(s)?

4. How can I minimize the impact of this problem?

5. How can I minimize the possibility of this problem reoccurring?

6. Am I enviable?  If not, why not?  How can I make myself more enviable?

7. What’s the next step?

8. Who do I know that could help me with this?

9. Is there anyone that I can delegate this to?

10. Is this the best use of my time, or should I hire someone else to do it? (Visit www.Elance.com)

11. What can I do that would make me even more effective?

12. What can I learn from this?

13. How can I turn this problem around, and enjoy the process?

14. Where is the opportunity in this situation?

15. If I were mentoring someone in my situation, what would I tell them?

16. What is one way I could change how I conduct my business that would cause me to enjoy it even more?

17. What about my current situation can I laugh at?

18. What do I have right now that I’m grateful for?

19. What am I excited about right now? Or, what could I be excited about right now?

20. What am I proud of right now? Or, what could I be proud of right now?

21. For my life to be perfect, what would I have to change?

22. If I could drop everything right now, what would I go do? And whom would I do it with?

a. What type of income would I have to be earning on a monthly basis to have the type of freedom to do that right now?

b.  How long will it take, doing what I’m currently doing, to earn that type of income?  Am I content with that answer, or should I start looking for something else to do?

21. What is one risk I can take today that will move me closer to my goals?

24. What are three things I do on a regular basis that hinder the pursuit of my goals?

25. Are my dreams big enough, or have they waned with age?

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