You’ve heard of them, but do they really exist? The subject of an “overnight success” has been tossed around with the likes of Big Foot, Space Aliens and the Loch Ness Monster. Learn the two strategies that you can insert into your life’s plan that will create quantum leaps in your progress and just quite possibly turn YOU into an “overnight success.”
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Matt: Hey, this is Matt, “The Do Over Guy,” and this is Your Do Over: Episode 23.
Announcer: During an era where countless people, businesses, and organizations are feeling the pinch, running out of time, running out of money, losing confidence, feeling as if life is unfair, praying for another chance and unless something is done, life is going to pass them by. Life is going to pass them by.
Fortunately, in the nick of time, there is now a place where the ignored, underestimated and unknown steps to producing results and making life work are revealed. Save your career. Save your business. Save your health. Save your relationships. Save your life. Get from where you are to where you want to be, faster and with greater ease than you ever thought possible. Say, “Hello!” to Your Do Over.
Matt: Welcome to Your Do Over, coming to you live from downtown Los Angeles. This is the place where I show people who want more out of life, people discontent with their circumstances, how to start over and begin a new life, setting goals and objectives so they can create wealth and live life to the fullest.
To get a head start and lay a solid foundation for a better life, you are invited to download the Three Pillars of Creating the Ultimate Do Over for free at FreeDoOver.com. It’s a 55-minute mp3 audio program that I made just for you with three specific steps on how to get success as you start over.
The Three Pillars of Creating the Ultimate Do Over are going to put legs under your table, so to speak. They will lay the foundation for you to achieve. Think of this program as your traveling success coach. It’s yours for free at FreeDoOver.com.
I had some interesting conversations this week as I’m working my way through my podcast hosting challenges. I received quite a bit of direct communication from you, my listeners. I received a great deal of emails, of which several resulted in actual phone conversations and some of which I’ll be meeting people in person this week to discuss personal success coaching.
I got this email from Sandy. Sandy says, “I wanted you to know that I love your podcast and that I’m eagerly awaiting your return. In the meantime, I guess I’ll start reading from your recommended book list.”
Well, awesome, Sandy. If you want to read from the recommended book list as well, you can go to TheDoOverGuy.com and then click on the Recommended Resources tab. There are my Top 10 Books for a Do Over. Obviously, Sandy found them, and she is going to be taking a look at those while I am nursing my podcast wounds and getting my way back to iTunes.
I got this email from Julie. “I recently got hooked on your podcast when searching for ways to start over. I downloaded as many as I could, but now I’m about to the end and I can’t find you on iTunes anymore. Am I missing something?”
No, Julie, you’re not missing anything. I had to change podcast hosts, but I should be back on iTunes by the end of the week. If you’re listening to me now, though, I am obviously already back on iTunes.
I got this email from Matthew. “I’ve gone through all of your podcasts in the last week, and I am anxiously awaiting for more.” Those are just a few samples of some of the correspondence I got this week. I’m just so grateful. You guys are sitting there waiting for me, and that’s a really good feeling.
My challenges with iTunes are almost over. I had to go three, four levels of customer support service where I just got these boilerplate customer service responses they literally just look up in their manual, I guess, and say, “He said podcast so send him this response.”
But I eventually got to somebody who actually started giving me a little bit of personal attention. At least I could tell they were actually reading my emails this time.
I swear, I had to type the same thing and send it five different times. Five different times I might be embellishing a little bit. No, probably not. It was about five times before an actual human, I think, responded.
So we’re almost through this. Like I said, if you’re listening to me right now, we are already through it. We’re done; we’re complete. We never have to talk about this again.
I’ve got to tell you, if you don’t look at every challenge that comes your way as an opportunity, you’re really missing out on one of the most rewarding parts of life. We’re all dealt with challenges. We get them every day. It’s not those challenges and setbacks that are going to determine where we end up in life. It’s how we deal with those challenges and setbacks that will.
This podcast hosting catastrophe has created some brilliant opportunities for me. First, I picked up two new success coaching clients because I’ve been able to pursue more live interaction with people.
Second, I’ve picked up a great speaking engagement in July where I’ll be addressing my biggest crowd ever. I’m very excited about that.
Third, I was able to have some really heartfelt conversations with several of my listeners. This was my favorite part of the downtime. I was asked some really great questions. One of those many questions – I mean there were many – but the one that seemed to come up repeatedly, “What’s the fastest way to start over?”
It seems as if many people have concerns around the time they’ve invested in what they’re currently doing and are scared to abandon that for something new. That’s understandable; I totally understand that. I had 15 years invested in the music business until my Do Over was forced on me essentially. No, not essentially, literally. I didn’t know how to do anything else, so I know what you’re feeling.
Obviously, if you’re looking to Do Over there is something going on in your life that is unfulfilling at the very least. The time-honored definition of insanity – if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got – that’s been referenced countless times in countless arenas for countless reasons.
The fact that this definition of insanity has been overused and abused, it doesn’t make it any less valid though. The logic is simple, it’s sound and it’s inarguable. If you keep doing what you’re doing that’s causing you to be unfulfilled, if you keep doing that you will continue to be unfulfilled – simple.
You can remain unfulfilled, or you can pursue fulfillment. If you want to be fulfilled, you have to do what fulfilled people did to get there. You’ve got to do what you love. That’s the path to living a life to the fullest. So does the fact that you are unfulfilled right now have any bearing on what you do from this time forward? No, it doesn’t. It’s just a decision.
What I mean by that is where you are in life right now is a result of all the decisions you’ve made up to this point. There is nothing you can do about it. Those decisions have already been made. They’re in the past – bad news. All you can look at is the good news. Look at all the lessons that you’ve learned, and you know not to make those mistakes again in the future.
But the good news – or the great news – is you can make a decision right now that determines where you end up tomorrow or where you end up next week or next month or next year. The part of this equation you want to get real clear about is that the year is going to pass whether you make a decision to Do Over or not.
You see, you can be concerned about letting ago of the past. You can be concerned about all the time you have invested in your current venture, and you can decide to hold onto that – or not. But the time is going to pass regardless. There is nothing you can do about that. The question is: where do you want to be when it does?
The decisions you’ve made up to this point, they’ve already been made. There is nothing you can do about them. If you have a bunch of time invested in what you’re currently doing and you don’t like what you’re doing, then celebrate the fact that you’ve realized you don’t like it before it’s too late. Celebrate that. You figured it out. That’s worthy of celebration.
You can make a new decision today that will put you on the path to doing something that you do like. It’s never too late to be what you might have become. It’s never too late to do what you might have done. It’s never too late to have what you might have had.
Now that we have that out of the way, how do we Do Over as fast as possible? How can we become an overnight success? Well, the word “overnight” is relative. There is no such thing as an overnight success. However, there certainly is a way to make quantum leaps in your progress – in your journey, if you will – so it may appear your success happened overnight. It may feel your success happened overnight.
There are two strategies that can create this for you. The first strategy is to get a role model or to get a mentor. Identify one or more – but at least one person – that is who you want to become. Find someone that you want to become. Find someone doing what you want to do. Find someone who has what you want to have. This could be anyone from a world-renowned personality or celebrity, or it could be your neighbor next door. It doesn’t matter.
Once you’ve identified this person or these people, you’ll now have to start doing what they did to get there. Here is what I mean. If you want to be a doctor, you have to do what a doctor did to become one. You’ve got to go to med school.
If you want to be a pilot, you have to do what a pilot did to become one. You’ve got to take flying lessons. There is no way around that. If you want to be rich, you have to do what rich people do. They dream, they believe and they take massive action in support of their dreams.
Those are obvious examples, but what is not so obvious is the very thing prevents most people from doing over fast – or doing over at all for that matter. Not only do you have to do what they did, you also have to stop doing what they don’t do.
To become a doctor, you will indeed have to go to med school. Additionally, you will have to make some serious sacrifices. There will be less time for watching TV. There will be less time to hang out with the friends. There will be less time for sleep, among countless other things.
Those are things that they don’t do. They do go to med school, but they don’t watch TV as much as they used to. They don’t hang out with their friends as much as they used to. They cut back on their sleep. They don’t get to sleep as often as they used to.
The same is true to become a pilot. Indeed, you’re going to have to take flying lessons, but you’ll also have to stop doing certain things. Limiting or completely eliminating the use of recreational substances comes to mind.
If money is your pursuit and becoming rich is an aspiration of yours, you’ll have to dream. You’ll have to believe in that dream. You’ll have to take massive action inside of a plan that supports that dream. Here, too, you’ll have to stop participating in certain things.
For starters, you’ll have to stop talking like a poor person. For example, stop saying, “How much will this cost me?” Start talking like a rich person and say, “How much will this make me?” Stop saying, “I can’t afford that.” Start saying, “How can I afford that?” It’s the difference between the conversations that the rich people and the poor people have.
You’ll have to stop spending your money like a poor person. In other words, stop spending your money on liabilities, things that take money out of your pocket. Start spending your money on assets, things that put money in your pocket. Let your assets pay for your liabilities.
Regardless of what it is that you want, what you’re going to Do Over, one of the quickest methods of getting it is to first find someone who already has it. Second, note what they did to get it, and then do it. Third, observe what they are not doing that you are doing, and stop doing it.
If you continue to do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten – no way around it. Do what they do and stop doing what they don’t do is how to get what they got, is how to Do Over fast.
I know I don’t have to convince you about the concept of working with a role model or a mentor. I know that makes logical sense. You find someone who has done – or preferably is currently doing – what you want to do and learn from them. At the very least, it helps to have someone to look up to if for no other reason than to assure you that your goals are indeed attainable.
Until you are actually able to experience the power a mentor brings to the table, however, it will always be an underestimated step in producing results. Nothing can create the true understanding and value of the mentor like the mentor experience itself.
After you have defined your dreams and you have declared your commitment, finding a mentor should be the very next thing on your to-do list. Do not ignore or underestimate this step. Get a mentor. Get a role model. Get several if you can, but at least one. Hire one if you must.
There’s a Buddhist proverb that says, “When the student is ready, the master appears.” Do not wait for the master to appear. Don’t wait. Seek the master out, and seek the master out now. There are very few things that will contribute more to your success than a mentor, than a role model.
I am convinced of this because I have experienced the power of a mentor firsthand. If I were to share everything that relationship provided me, this podcast episode would be twice as long, maybe three times as long as it is. Simply put, I accomplished more in a year with a mentor than I did in the previous five years without one. How is that for collapsing timeframes? How is that for quantum leaps?
So if you don’t have a mentor right now, you must find one. I want to help you do that. I recommend you seek out someone you admire who has the attitude, character and life you desire. Begin by modeling your behavior after that person.
You’re going to want to seek out tough love and criticism, and you’re going to want to be coachable. Seeking praise, that’s useless. If you ask enough people, approval is readily available. There are all kinds of yes people. We are surrounded by the yes people. It takes no effort at all to find people who will tell us what we want to hear.
Consider this time-honored question: does this dress make me look fat? If your mentor is someone who would say, “No, you look fine,” he or she is not a good candidate. In fact, don’t even consider it.
Now imagine your mentor responding to the same question. “No, the dress doesn’t make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat. You are fat.” That’s your mentor; that’s your role model. That is the type of response that will cause you to grow. Welcome it, embrace it, be coachable. Give your mentor the permission to demand the best out of you.
Push your emotions aside. This is not about feelings; this is about getting results. This is about doing over fast. Be willing to step outside of your comfort zone and allow someone else to contribute. Being coachable is a learned skill that will serve you on the road to your success.
Use the criticism to drive you. It’s going to take some humility to receive the criticism and to receive that feedback. It’s going to take some wisdom to understand it, to analyze it and appropriately act on it.
When I first began to interact with my mentor, I became more than coachable. I surrendered to his ways. Not initially, of course. I had to learn the hard way, but learn from my mistake. Don’t learn the hard way; learn the easy way. Do this fast.
I surrendered to his ways. Whether I agreed or not, whatever he said I did. Because I did, I moved forward with greater velocity than I ever would have on my own. I had already been trying it my way, so I already knew what that was like.
That’s how you Do Over fast. That’s when your success appears to others as an overnight success. That’s when it potentially appears to you as an overnight success. We are almost already halfway through 2011. Time flies. It goes.
When seeking out your mentor, you’ll be surprised how willing people will be to lend a helping hand once they realize you have made a commitment to your dreams and your goals. Many people are going to want to help you, and in turn you will inspire them.
Keeping that in mind, maintain high standards for your mentor because you’re going to encounter two types of people in your quest. You’re going to encounter advisors and you’re going to encounter mentors. Advisors know, but a true mentor knows and does. Seek out the doers, and don’t be afraid to seek out and work with the best.
The best people, they can be difficult to find and difficult to get next to. They may be so focused on their own goals that they don’t have the time to take you on as a pupil. That focus is what makes them who they are, though. This is who you’re looking for.
They can be intimidating, especially to the young. But if you’re fortunate enough to come across this type of mentor or role model, do not get discouraged. If you approach them with a good attitude that conveys you want to do something well, they typically respond positively.
You will get a lot of distance out of being proactive and taking initiative while working with your mentor. Don’t be the guy or the girl who says, “Can I just follow you around for a day?” Don’t be a cling-on. Be of value to your mentor. You may have to present yourself to your mentor as someone of value before you ever get their attention. Expect nothing in return other than the experience of working alongside the person you want to become. That type of experience is invaluable.
Having said all that, it is good to respect, observe and learn from your mentor, but don’t worship them. That’s a trap. Always maintain the belief that you can surpass your mentor and that you can be bigger and go beyond. Those who harbor the sidekick mentality or second-best attitude are invariably second-best doers. Always maintain that belief that you can pass them up. You can surpass them. You can be bigger, you can be better, you can be stronger, you can be faster.
The realization of your biggest dreams, it really begins once you have found a mentor who believes in you. You can eliminate decades of frustration with the right mentor – one who tugs, leads and pushes you to knock down milestone after milestone, occasionally landing some jabs of reality and every once in a while delivering a right hook called truth.
That’s who you want as your mentor. You want one that’s going to be brutally honest with you, one that’s going to be authentic with you. One that’s going to care about your success. If they truly care about your success, they’re going to be tough.
The second strategy you can inject into your Do Over that would create the potential for an overnight success is the practice of masterminding. Masterminding is coordinating the knowledge and the effort and the resources of two or more people to achieve a specific goal or a specific result.
If more people implemented the practice, I believe there wouldn’t be so much demand for “how to be successful” books. If done correctly, it’s that powerful. Through a properly chosen and conducted mastermind group, I feel very comfortable in saying your goals are halfway achieved simply by its mere existence.
There are two inherent qualities within the mastermind that cause this to be so. The first characteristic is economic in nature – it’s practical, it’s tangible. By surrounding yourself with the wisdom, effort and resources of a group willing and able to lend authentic assistance, obvious economic advantages are available.
The second characteristic, for lack of a better word, is almost spiritual in nature. When two minds are brought together for a specific purpose, it’s almost as if a third contributing mind is created.
One of my most valued relationships – and it took me almost, I don’t know, 20 years to locate such a person – when we’re together it creates almost a third mind every time we talk. It’s almost as if we carry around a third person in our pocket.
My entire adult life, I have been a big idea type of guy. I’ve always had the idea, and I’ve always had to sell people on my vision. I’m fortunate enough now that I’ve been able to surround myself now with a handful of powerful minds so that when I have an idea and I share it with the group, it always comes back to me bigger and oftentimes seemingly easier to accomplish – much easier than it was when I had originally thought of it.
That’s an example of a properly selected and functioning mastermind group. If you were to analyze the background of any person who has accumulated great wealth and success, you would find that they have implemented – consciously or unconsciously – the mastermind practice.
I’m sure there are some, although I don’t know of any, who have achieved great success on their own. If there is such a person, however, their road to success would have been infinitely easier and faster with a mastermind group.
The power available through the mastermind group is unattainable through any other practice. This is what makes the practice an underestimated step. People fail to truly understand the power and the speed of the results that are available to them through this.
So how to be an overnight success? Well, once you know what you want to Do Over 1) get a role model or a mentor and start doing what they do and just as important stop doing what they don’t do, and 2) start a mastermind group with people who take their dreams and life as seriously as you do. That’s how you create an “overnight success.”
That’s all I’ve got for you today. Don’t forget, you will have until the end of April to participate in my Do Over contest. Log on to iTunes. Search Your Do Over, and place your iTunes and rating. Send an email to [email protected] with “I Did It” in the subject line.
Be sure to include your iTunes name in the email so I know who you are so I can send you a copy of Do Over and possibly – no probably – another prize. Seriously, I’m giving so much away, that you’re likely going to win that stuff too. Don’t delay. Post your comment and rating before the month’s end.
Love you guys. I am Matt, the Do Over Guy, and I will see you next time on Your Do Over.
Announcer: Thank you for tuning in to Your Do Over, where the ignored, underestimated, and unknown steps to producing results and making life work are revealed. And remember, knowledge is potential power. Take action on what you learned today. This is not your learn over. It’s Your Do Over.
To view the resources referenced in today’s show and to receive a complete show transcript, visit www.TheDoOverGuy.com. Stay connected with Matt, the Do Over Guy, Theriault on Twitter at TheDoOverGuy and on Facebook at www.facebook.com/dooverguru