What Are You Making “It” Mean? | DO 30

What is “it” to which you’re adding meaning that is creating your life? By the nature of being human, you ARE doing it. The only question is are you doing it consciously or is it being done for you? You’ll want to know as your answer to these questions will determine your destiny.

What Are You Making It Mean?What is “it” to which you’re adding meaning that is creating your life? By the nature of being human, you ARE doing it. The only question is are you doing it consciously or is it being done for you? You’ll want to know as your answer to these questions will determine your destiny.

 

Your Do Over | Discover a Better Life | Get Lasting Results | Inspiration | Motivation | Success (mp3)

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Podcast Transcript:

Matt:  Hey, this is Matt, “The Do Over Guy,” and this is Your Do Over: Episode 30.

Announcer: During an era where countless people, businesses, and organizations are feeling the pinch, running out of time, running out of money, losing confidence, feeling as if life is unfair, praying for another chance and unless something is done, life is going to pass them by. Life is going to pass them by.

Fortunately, in the nick of time, there is now a place where the ignored, underestimated and unknown steps to producing results and making life work are revealed. Save your career. Save your business. Save your health. Save your relationships. Save your life. Get from where you are to where you want to be, faster and with greater ease than you ever thought possible.  Say, “Hello!” to Your Do Over.

Matt:  Welcome to Your Do Over, coming to you live from downtown Los Angeles. This is the place where I show people who want more out of life, people dissatisfied with their current situation, how to start over and begin a new life, setting goals and objectives so they can create wealth and live life to the fullest.

You can jumpstart your Do Over and lay a solid foundation for a better life by downloading the Three Pillars of Creating the Ultimate Do Over for free at FreeDoOver.com. It’s a 55-minute mp3 audio program that I made just for you with three specific steps on how to get success as you start over.

The Three Pillars of Creating the Ultimate Do Over will put the legs under your table. They will lay the foundation for you to achieve. They will act as your traveling success coach, and they’re yours for free at FreeDoOver.com.

Okay.  Here we are at episode 30, which is somewhat as a milestone.  I got a quick announcement from the Do Over contest that we had a few months ago.  There are still a few Starbucks gift cards that have gone unclaimed.

So Tarry Burgess, Luis Rodriguez, Megan Hamel, and Cris Anderson.  Check your spam both junk or deleted email folders to see if you’ve got your e-gift there or your unclaimed gift that has probably where it went if you didn’t see it.  Go check it out because I don’t want you to miss out on that.

Also I want to say thank you for the great comments and ratings that you have been dropping for me over there at iTunes.  This was comes from Love Softly, Fantastic was the headline with five stars.  I discovered, or should I say God led me to this podcast by accident.  Funny thing two days before I asked out if I could do my life over and voila!  There you were.

I’ve shared this with as many people as we listen.  The first podcast I listened was the one with Justin Yates.  Imagine my chagrin when I learned that he and Chad had passed just weeks before.

Matt, thank you for the tribute to Justin and Chad.  Keep doing what you do.  You are certainly making a difference.  Infinite, love, and gratitude.  Rodney.

Rodney, you’re welcome.  And thank you.  I’m glad you’re here.

Unbelievable.  Five-star rating from Beaver Ridgegaffrey.

How was it that no one has commented on this podcast?  I was only three sessions deep and I already feel as though I’m ready to do better, do right, do over.  Thank you, Matt.  Dana Beveridge.

I hope I pronounced your name correctly.  I don’t understand where you’re leaving your comments because it got over 70 of them now but I’m really glad you’re here.  Thank you, Dana.  Welcome.

Amazing role model.  5-stars.  I’m listening to the podcast.  I grabbed the free download. I bought the book. I’m wearing the t-shirt.  Okay, no t-shirt available yet.  (Lol)  well, actually there’s a t-shirt available.  If you go to the website, click on the book image.  That will take you to the sales page and you can purchase a t-shirt there.  If you didn’t know that.  This reviews goes on to read.

I’ve never been addicted to a podcast until now.  Matt is inspiring and motivating me to make some important life changes I will be forever grateful.  I will highly recommend this to anyone.  I’m familiar with a number of business and motivation authors.  None of them feel as real as Matt.  Keep doing what you’re doing.  Matt, you’re helping more than you know.  That comes from Dan Anlex.

So thank you, Dan.  I’m glad you’re here.  I’m glad that I’m here for you.  Okay.  One more review.  There’s a bunch of them.  I want to read them all.  Hopefully and eventually I will get to them all but I really wanted to focus on this one.  It comes from Tooty Fried.  The title is 15 Minutes of Promotion, Total Fail.  She gave me one star.

The leading music starts about all the negative things in the world. “The world is ending.  Thank God.  Matt is here to save you, your health, your relationship, your biz, your life.”  So annoying in parenthesis then finally we have Matt who drones on about his podcast.

Then he lists all his thank yous to people who sent him emails.  Well, I guess I’m guilty as charged because I’m doing right now.  That’s probably not going to change then he talks about his giveaways, advertising for the company, and I don’t understand how the giveaway or advertising for the company because all the give-aways I gave. I have absolutely no association with those.  Those were gifts for you.

Then he talks about the fact that he is going to start real estate podcasts, of which I am.  In fact, if you’ve been waiting for that.  I just submitted the first episode on Friday to iTunes.  That should be up and running.  It should be improved within the next 5 to 6 days.  I know a lot of you have been inquiring about when that was going to be available. I started talking about it a long time ago. Forgive me.  It was actually al to more work than I thought it was going to be.  I think you would be pleasantly surprised once you check it out.

She then writes, he continues on for about 8 minutes about how awesome it will be and how he can help you.  (laughs)  Actually, it is pretty awesome and it will help you.  Of course. Only if you’re interested in real estate investing will it help you.

He then promotes his eBook.  Actually, I don’t feel like I promote my eBook enough.  It’s not even an e-book.  It’s a paperback book I just put it in e-version to make it accessible to more people.  I don’t feel like I promoted enough because a 100% of the proceeds are going to charity.  That’s something worthy of promotion.

Then he goes on to thank everyone again and brags about his ratings are so fabulous.  (laughs)  They’re pretty fabulous but I have you to thank for that so thank you.  God, over 70 of them now.  There are all 5-star ratings except for this one that I’m reading right now.  But I read them all.  He talks about how you will hear and learn and take action but mostly you will hear him blabber on about his e-books, promotions, and marketing before he gets to the freaking podcast.  I was suffocating in his marketing chatter that I finally shut it off.  What the heck why would I ever take advice from a guy who does nothing but talk gibberish.  Uggh.  Total fail is written in all capital letters.

It’s funny that that was her impression.  It’s funny that how this podcast occurs for her because there’s really nothing for sale.  This is totally free.  (laughs).  All you have to do is show up and you got it for free.  So interesting.  But you can’t please everybody.  And thank you actually to Katyooshka86, by the way, of which came to my defense and wrote a direct response to that review.  Thank you Katyooshka.

Now, there’s a great lesson in here for your Do Over, by the way.  What I mean, what would your reaction be to a review like this of your work?  Particularly if you felt it was inaccurate.  Not just inaccurate but almost the opposite of how you feel about your work.

How would you react to that type of review?  Well, first, you can’t please everybody.  Typically, those that try to please everybody end up pleasing nobody.  Once you get that, I mean the sting has already starts to dissipate a little bit.  It takes the ting out of that criticism.

Additionally, once you get that well-behaved people rarely makes history.  I borrowed that from a bumper sticker, by the way, but I thought it’s ingenious.  I can’t credit for it.  It was from a bumper sticker. As much as I would like to, I think the rules is you have to give credit fro the first 3 times before you can claim it as your own.  So two more times, I’m taking it.

What I mean by that idea of well-behaved people rarely makes history is if you’re not ruffling some feathers, if you’re not making some ways along the way you’re doing Do Over.  You’re probably playing it too safe.  Not always but it’s definitely something to look at.

I mean you could probably afford to take a few more risks or chances than you’re currently taking at the very least.  I mean that’s where your real progress lies just on the other side of your fear.  And it is fear that stands in between everything you currently have and everything that you want.

Most people fear taking risks.  As I think I said in the last episode, those that risk nothing risk everything.    Now that’s a quote that I’ve used more than three times.  That one is now mine.  Anyway, I wouldn’t consider a critical review like the one I received from Tooty Fried as making waves or taking risks.  Perhaps I should be ruffling a few more feathers but the reason I brought that up is those two distinctions that I just talked about.  First, you can’t please everybody.  Don’t try to.  Second, that if you are pleasing everybody you might want to review how you’re going about things.

Now there are no absolutes there by the way.  They’re just thought that I have that contribute to the meaning that I attached to that critical review.  You seek and every experience you have there is what happened and there is the meaning that you attached to it.

So again what would you make a critical review like that of your work mean?  I mean, a review just like the one that I received, what would you make that mean if that was directed towards you?

I ask because in this world it’s not what happens to you so much that will determine where you will end up.  It’s how you respond to what’s happening. A great deal of how you respond will be indirect or relation to the meaning that you attach to what happens.

Now in your Do Over, you’re going to gain great power and control when you’re able to separate what happened or what’s so.  When you were able to separate what’s so and the meaning that you attach to it or the story you create around what happened.

It’s like this when you had this perfect and you’re feeling great either physically or mentally or both.  The weather is great.  The skies are blue.  Birds are chirping.  Money isn’t a concern.  Time isn’t concern.  Everyone you met they like you or they seem to fall in love with you.  I mean, doesn’t life feel great when that happens?

What?  (laughs).  You’ve never experienced all of the planets aligning like this?  You don’t know what that feels like?  Or even if you do, you don’t get to feel nearly as much as you would like?  You see, these feelings and experiences is they rarely come together all at the same time.

And when just one of these is out of alignment, a great deal of our existence seems to be work.  It becomes a chore.  It becomes hassle or struggle.  Or at the very least it becomes a worry.  Then you find yourself worrying about how much you’re worrying.

The reason we do this is because of the meanings that we attached to what we experienced or the meanings that we attached to what happens. We make everything means so much more than it actually does if it actually has any meaning at all.

We will get to that in just a second. When you’re not feeling well physically, it means you’re eating the wrong food.  Right?  Or it means your environment is toxic or it means you got screwed genetically or it means you need to change your lifestyle or it means you’re a victim of bad luck.  It means there is a virus going around.  I mean there’s a ton of meaning to attach to feeling bad.

Now if the weather outside isn’t into your liking.  It means you live in the wrong place.  It means global warming is becoming more apparent.  It means it’s earthquake weather.  It becomes prophecy of the Bible is coming to light.  We can make bad weather mean just about anything too.

Now here’s one that many people deal with frequently, if you’re struggling financially.  It means you’re not good in life.  It means you’re not doing enough.  You’re doing the wrong thing.  You’re not working hard enough.  You’re not lucky enough or someone stealing from you or life isn’t fair.  It means there’s too much competition.  Or it means all of the opportunity is gone.  It means you’re struggling because you never get a break.  I mean there’s a ton of things we can make financial challenges or if people in your environment begin to change their patterns of being around you or they’re ignoring you or they don’t seem as nice as they used to.  I mean there must be something wrong with you.  Right?

Or you make that mean there’s something wrong with them.  We are meaning-making machines.  By the very nature of being a human being, you are meaning-making machine. Your mind works over time to attach meaning to every experience that you have.

The meanings you attach to what happens would dictate how your Do Over unfolds, how your life unfolds.  So there is what happened and there’s the meaning you attached to it.  They are separate.  They are not the same thing.  As much as they may seem like most of the time they are not the same thing.

Here are a couple of examples.  Imagine someone calls you a jerk.  Okay.  That’s what happened.  Someone called you a jerk.  Now what do you make that mean?  Well in real life, it’ll have a great deal to do with who actually called you a jerk.  Right?  If you’re spouse or partner called you a jerk.  You might dismiss it, as you know that they actually love you and they were just upset at the moment.  They didn’t really mean it.

Or if you’re best friend calls you a jerk.  You know them well enough to know if they really think you are a jerk or not.  But what do you make it mean?  Do you make it mean that your friend is delusional?  Then they are the jerk not you or do you make it mean, yeah, you got me.  I’m a jerk.

Or do you make it mean, I know they think I’m a jerk but they really don’t mean it.  Now imagine a total stranger walking down the street and they call you a jerk in passing.  What do you make that mean?  That there’s another meaning entirely.  Doesn’t it?  Hopefully you’re starting to see the separation of the two.

The separation of what happened or what so and what you make it mean.  Or the story that you create around what happened.  What’s so if someone you call you a jerk?  But in each scenario, you made it mean totally different.  As humans as I mentioned, we are meaning-making machines.  That’s what we do.

Each and every situation we experienced throughout our day and throughout our lives. Each person perceives every situation differently.  One man’s garbage is another man’s treasure.  Each experience occurs differently for each person.

In fact, the world occurs differently for each person.  There is no right or wrong.  There is no good or bad.  Each experience you have during the day, during your life, does not have any meaning.  It’s you that brings the meaning to the experience and in result dictates how you respond and how respond creates your life.  Are you following me?

Here are the type of situations you experienced during the day that dictates how your day unfolds or how your life unfolds for that matter.  If your spouse leaves their socks on the floor, they left their socks on the floor.  That’s what happened. That’s what’s so.  There are socks on the floor that they didn’t pick up.

Now, what do you make that mean?  Your spouse’s taking you for granted.  Your spouse doesn’t love you or your spouse isn’t feeling well and slipped their mind.  Or your spouse is working overtime at the office and is too tired to do it.  Whichever meaning attach to your spouse leaving their socks on the floor will impact the rest of your day.  Maybe a little bit or maybe a lot.  It depends on how often it happens. Right?

Either you’ll proceed your day feeling unloved and resentment for your spouse.  And you try a bunch of days like that together.  It’s likely to be a very unhappy marriage with the less desirable ending.  Right?

Or you’ll feel compassionate and then the need to help your spouse.  Those are two extremely different lives.  And it all began when something meaningless happened.  Socks were left on the floor.  It is the meaning that you brought meaning to the socks on the floor that contributed to the creation of the rest of your day.  That ultimately leads to the creation of your life.

I mean okay.  Here’s another. What if your driving to work then someone cut you off?  I mean it happens on a daily basis.  Right?  What do you make it mean?  The driver’s inconsiderate?  The driver is inept?  The driver has it out for you?  The driver is late to work?

It must be a life or death situation.  I hope they make it to their destination safely and on time.  Again, very different meanings you can attach to what happened.  Someone cut you off.  That’s what happened.

There is no meaning to someone cutting you off until you bring the meaning to it.  Life’s an occurrences have no meaning.  What happens?  What’s so?  It’s empty and meaningless.

In fact, life is empty and meaningless.  And it’s empty and meaningless that life is empty and meaningless.  Is the meaning that we each individually bring to life that creates the life that we experience?

Now, I know that that might be a little heavy for you especially if you never heard of anything of the sort.  It was from me.  In fact, I was rather depressed for a while thinking, wow, life is empty and meaningless.

What’s the use?  Why do I even try?  What’s the use of even going on?  I mean all types of depressing thoughts were going through my mind until I realized I’m making life as empty and meaningless mean something.

I’m bringing a meaning to life as empty and meaningless.  A meaning of which is depressing me.  And then the second part hit me; it’s empty and meaningless that it’s empty and meaningless.

I can make this mean whatever I want to make it mean.  It’s my choice.  You know what?  It’s your choice too.  You can make life mean whatever you want to make it mean.  You are blessed with free will.  That’s a gift given to you by God.

Not only can you make life mean what you want it to mean.  You can make a critical review on iTunes and mean what you want it to mean.  You are responsible for your own experiences in life.  And when you really start to get that, life takes on a whole new meaning.  Pun intended.

I often reference the bio as the original person of development book. What I mean by that is anything you find written by Tony Robbins or Napoleon Hill or Deepak Choprah, Doctor Wayne Dyer, Dr. Phil, or whoever your favorite self help guru maybe.  They’re bible references to support their teachings.  Teachings of which came 2,000 years prior to the guru of the day.

So is there a bible reference for life is empty and meaningless?  As a Christian, this was a question that I had.  It was serious question at that. I mean can imagine many of you might be thinking the same. Well if you have your Bibles handy, turn to Ecclesiastes 1.  What does it say?  It says right there in black and white, “everything is a meaningless.” It doesn’t just say everything is meaningless.  It says everything is meaningless with an exclamation point.

It goes on to read the words of the teacher, “son of David and king of Jerusalem.  Meaningless! Meaningless!  Both followed by exclamation points by the way.  Meaningless!  Meaningless! Says the teacher.  Utterly meaningless!  Another exclamation point.  Everything is meaningless.  It says that in the Bible.  And it goes on to explain how everything is meaningless.  Wisdom is meaningless.  Pleasures are meaningless.  Folly is meaningless.  Toil is meaningless meaning your work is meaningless.

Now I ask you if you’ve never heard of this before, what you’re making it mean right now? Pretty heavy stuff.  Huh?  Let’s get practical. Let’s bring it down to Earth.  How can you use this in your life?  How can you use this in your Do Over?

Let me sum this up and recap just a bit and wrap it up into three things you deserve to remember or keep in front of mind.  First, the world occurs differently for everybody.  And how they perform correlate accordingly.

Another way to say is there’s what happens and then there’s what you make it mean.  They are separate.  It’s never what happens that upsets us.  It’s how we perceive what happens and how we judge what happens that upsets us.

It’s the conversations we have with ourselves about what that means.  Another example, you’re sitting in a room with a group of people and someone stands up, leaves, and slams the door.  Your instinct would be to think or your reflex would be to think they were angry for what happened?  They left the room?  They left the door slammed?  What did you make it mean?

They were angry.  But see?  You could be wrong.  And that’s where communication or miscommunication rather can create a mess.  It can create a real mess.  That type of miscommunication can cause irreparable damage in some scenarios unless you know how to manage it.  Unless you’re aware that the world occurs differently for everybody that each person attaches their own individual meaning to each individual occurrence.

That’s number one.  Know that the world occurs differently for everybody.  There is no right or wrong.  There is no good or bad.  There are just varying degrees and varying experiences of how the world occurs for everybody and it occurs differently for everybody.

Two, the second thing.  How a situation occurs for someone arises in language?  When something happens a thought is created.  And that thought leads to an emotion.  Then that emotion leads to words.  And at this point, it’s typically when you get first clue as to how the situation is occurring for someone.  And rather than reacting to someone’s words, particularly when those words evoke heightened emotions in you.  Rather than reacting, try a different approach.  Try getting curious.  Get curious.  Inspect what is there.  You know the fifth habit of “Highly Effective People” by Steven Covey seek to understand and then be understood.  That’s number two.

Get curious as to how the world is occurring for those that you encounter.  Now three, the third thing.  Use future-based language.  Future-based language will transform how situations occur to people.  I mean you’ve heard me reference it many times before.  Stop focusing on what’s happening and focus on what you want to have happen.

As what happened might not be an issue to deal with at all.  It could be something that just happened.  And you likely attach disempowering meaning to it.  By focusing on what you want to have happen, more times than not the yucky stuff or being uncomfortable, which is the stuff that causes you to worry.  It disappears.

That’s how I deal with what ills me internally.  I focus on the future.  I focus on things I want to have happen not what’s happening.  Now, when someone else is involved whether an individual or small group or maybe your church congregation or your sales department at work.  Use future-based language to positively impact the situation and move forward towards resolution and progress.

The way that logic affects you internally by the use of future-based language, you can impact your environment externally.  That’s same logic that works on you internally will work on your external world as well.  Use future-based language.

That’s pretty heavy and nerdy personal development stuff but if you’re listening to this podcast or meaning if you’ve listened to episodes in the past and you haven’t unsubscribed.  You’re ready for it.  You can handle it.  And just like anything else that I’ve discussed with you, there’s nothing right or wrong here.  There’s nothing good or bad about any of this.  None of it is true by the way.  There’s nothing to believe here either.  These are just tools that I share with you.  This is just another way of countless ways to approach life, to deal with it, to manage it, to make it work for you.

So take what you like and ditch what you don’t.  It’s like trying on a brand new pair of sunglasses.  You take them off the rack.  You try them on.  You look in the mirror. And you either like what you see or you don’t.  You then decide to buy or not.

All of this is just like that, a pair of sunglasses.  So if you got nothing from today’s episode or if you feel completely overwhelmed and confused, I’m just going to request that you take one thing away from this because it’s pretty universal.

Be conscious of what you make things mean.  Be conscious of the type of life that you’re habitual reflexes are making things mean.  Be conscious of what type of life that’s creating for you.  For if you don’t, you end up being a slave to those reflexes.  You lose control of your life.

Who knows where you will end up?  In conclusion, one way or the other you will always add meaning to what happens.  There’s no getting around that.  By the nature of being human, you will do that where you want to draw your focuses.  Are you choosing your meanings consciously or are your instincts and reflexes choosing for you?

They create two entirely different lives.  The meaning you attach to what happens is that powerful.  So to my new friend, Tooty Fried, my harshest critic to date.  I thank you for sharing your observations with me.  God loves you and so do I.

I am Matt, the Do Over guy.  And I will see you next time in your Do Over.

Announcer:  Thank you for tuning in to Your Do Over, where the ignored, underestimated, and unknown steps to producing results and making life work are revealed. And remember, knowledge is potential power. Take action on what you learned today. This is not your learn over. It’s Your Do Over.

To view the resources referenced in today’s show and to retrieve a complete show transcript, visit www.TheDoOverGuy.com. Stay connected with Matt, the Do Over Guy, Theriault on Twitter at TheDoOverGuy and on Facebook at www.facebook.com/dooverguru.

 

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