Nancy Dana on Staying Motivated and Producing Results | DO 34

On this episode, the Do Over guy interviews life and success coach Nancy Dana on human behavior, science of the brain, staying motivated, and producing results. Nancy, business coach and real estate investor, has been studying and teaching people to be better and achieve more in every area of their lives for fifteen plus years. One of her favorite quotes and words she lives by comes from Margaret Cavendish, who declares “I would rather die in the adventure of noble achievements than live in obscure and sluggish security.” Tune into this episode and soak up all the goodness that is Nancy Dana.

On this episode, the Do Over guy interviews life and success coach Nancy Dana on human behavior, science of the brain, staying motivated, and producing results. Nancy, business coach and real estate investor, has been studying and teaching people to be better and achieve more in every area of their lives for fifteen plus years. One of her favorite quotes and words she lives by comes from Margaret Cavendish, who declares “I would rather die in the adventure of noble achievements than live in obscure and sluggish security.” Tune into this episode and soak up all the goodness that is Nancy Dana.


 

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Podcast Transcript:

Matt:  Hey, this is Matt, “The Do Over Guy,” and this is Your Do Over: Episode 34.

Announcer: During an era where countless people, businesses, and organizations are feeling the pinch, running out of time, running out of money, losing confidence, feeling as if life is unfair, praying for another chance and unless something is done, life is going to pass them by. Life is going to pass them by.

Fortunately, in the nick of time, there is now a place where the ignored, underestimated and unknown steps to producing results and making life work are revealed. Save your career. Save your business. Save your health. Save your relationships. Save your life. Get from where you are to where you want to be, faster and with greater ease than you ever thought possible.  Say, “Hello!” to Your Do Over.

Matt:  Welcome to Your Do Over, coming to you live from downtown Los Angeles. This is the place where I show people who want more out of life, people dissatisfied with their current situation, how to start over and begin a new life, setting goals and objectives so they can create wealth and live life to the fullest.

You can jumpstart your Do Over and lay a solid foundation for a better life by downloading the Three Pillars of Creating the Ultimate Do Over for free at FreeDoOver.com. It’s a 55-minute mp3 audio program that I made just for you with three specific steps on how to get success as you start over.

The Three Pillars of Creating the Ultimate Do Over will put the legs under your table. They will lay the foundation for you to achieve. They will act as your traveling success coach, and they’re yours for free at FreeDoOver.com.

I’m very excited for today’s show as I have a guest waiting on the line.  A guest that which I have so much respect for and one that I’m very grateful for as she created a life changing distinction for me years ago.  I’m not even sure that she knows she did.  I mean I met a few years ago, as she was one of my real estate investing teachers.  And what I learned from sitting in her class was that real estate investing is actually very easy.  I mean she laid the steps and the basics to investing relatively quickly but she spent a great deal of time on motivating the class to take those steps.

Meaning it’s no big deal with respect to real estate investing that all you have to do is go out, find a deal, go submit an offer, go open escrow, close escrow, and collect your profit.  I mean that’s very simple and easy.  However, what makes real estate investing such a challenge is those 6 inches of real estate between your ears.  You know, one can learn just about everything they need to do on a daily basis to be a success in real estate investing.

They can learn all of that in a day but it can take weeks, months, or even years to conquer the fears and to conquer the negative thinking that stops most people from performing those daily tasks day in and day out.  As well as doing them long enough experience results.  I got that distinction around real estate investing.  However, it applies to just about anything that you can think of.

I mean for example, it’s really easy to make a cold call sales call.  I mean you just dial a phone as you’ve done thousand of times.  Nothing difficult there.  Right?  Now when someone answers the phone, you just say “hello.”  Nothing difficult there.  Right?  I mean you’ve done that thousand of times.  You said “hello” to somebody who picked up the phone.

Now all you have to do is to tell the person why you’re calling and then ask for the appointment for the sale.  I mean you certainly the same language as your prospect.  Right?  You’re likely to speak that language all day long so there’s no problem in putting a sentence together and formulating a question to ask for the sale.  Right?  Simple.

In fact, it’s downright easy.  But it’s ones mindset and thinking that make it so difficult to do it.  6 to 8 hour, 4 to 5 days a week.  Okay?  Here’s another.  You are in a nightclub or you’re in a bar or restaurant or even in church.  You see that attractive someone across the room or the type of person you would like to spend more time with.  And all you have to do is to walk across the room, one foot or another; I mean that’s very easy. Right?

You’re likely walking from your car to the building with no problems so the walking part, that’s easy.  You surely speak the same language as this person.  So I know you can put a sentence together to ask that person to dinner or for a cup of coffee.

I mean it’s simple and easy enough.  Right?  You’ll likely ask your friends and family members to do that on a weekly basis but it’s one’s mindset and thinking that won’t even let them take that first step in the direction of that person.  This is why motivation is so important.

This is why mindset training is so important.  I mean this is why inspiration is so important.  This is why reading or listening to self-help materials is so important.

It’s all of these that are wrapped up under the tag “personal development.”  And there’s so many out there that shuns self-help or self-development life coaching or personal development or whatever names you have for it.

Many people, they ridicule it.  They make fun of those who partake in it.  Many just flat out ignore it.  You know, there are some out there who acknowledge and understand but they don’t feel they need it.

But most, they just don’t understand.  They don’t understand if there’s something you want that you don’t have.  It’s very, very easy to get.

But it’s your personal development or lack of hereof that keeps it beyond their grasp.  Now our guest on the phone, through her teaching, I mean she inadvertently gave me this distinction.  And it’s not that losing 20 pounds is difficult.  Simply eat less and work out more creating a daily caloric deficit.

I mean that’s very simple and easy advice.  Very easy to do but it’s one’s personal development that will determine whether they eat less and work out more everyday until they lose the 20 pounds.

It’s precisely why I’ve committed so much time to my own personal development.  I continue to do so. It’s why within my own coaching program that so much time is dedicated to mindset to context to thoughts because that’s everything.  It is everything.

My guest understands this.  It’s probably we get along so well.  You’re going to love her.  You’re going to love her perspective so on the phone today.  I’ve got my very good friend, Nancy Dana.  Nancy, thank you for joining us.

Nancy:  I’m happy to be here, Matt. I can’t wait.

Matt: (laughing) Awesome.  You know to get started, can you just give the listeners a little bit of your background and describe some of your past accomplishments and what you’re up to today.

Nancy:  I’d be happy to do that.  First of all, I want to tell you thank you so much for the very cool opportunity to be on your podcast with you.  I’m just so excited.  I really love what I do.  I love sharing it else.

One more opportunity to do that is always great. I particularly, I love the work you’re doing.  I have great respect.  The things I’ve heard on the episodes of your podcasts are fantastic so you’ve got a lucky group of listeners.

I’m sure quite grateful for what you’ve been sharing with them.  I’m just thrilled to have the chance to be a part of that so thank you very much for that, my friend.

Matt:  Awesome.  Thank you.  Very welcome.

Nancy:  Yeah. I have done in a world of personal development for a long, long time.  I have been coaching people, a personal coach, for 18 years.  You know, back when I started coaching usually when I told people that I was the coach way back in the days.

They would say “oh really?  You don’t look like you play basketball (laughing) or volleyball.  Nobody even really knew what coaching was but I trained, studied, and worked hard at developing on coaching practice.  I have loved being in the world of personal development all these years.

It’s been something along the way I realized that I really needed to do more and really create some greater wealth in my life.   So in addition to my coaching, I started learning about real estate investing and became a real estate investor.

I know it’s a topic near to your heart.  I really have had a good run with it.  I really had big and spectacular crashes that we might have a chance to talk about a little bit later today.

But I really started combining the two.  That’s what really made me excited right now because personal development is fantastic and can be applied in so many areas in your life.

Real estate investing is something that really appeals to so many people so I’m really combining the two right now. I spend most of my days studying, learning, and developing new content and ideas for my coaching practice.  I coached people completely on personal development.

That’s sort of one stream of what I do and my favorite and what I love.  I also have another little stream where I combine the personal development with the real estate investing.

But the love of my life is absolutely plain and good foundational personal development.  When we get better at who we are then everything else in life just gets lifted with that.  When I read in Jack Canfield’s, years ago, in “The Success Principles,” he said, “figure out what like what you’re doing every day and find a way to make money doing that.”

So that’s what I love to do, what I love doing every day is learning about and teaching about personal development and that’s what I have as an opportunity to do.  So I don’t know.  You asked about accomplishments.

It feels funny to talk about that but I think it’s pretty a great accomplishment that I’ve been in the coaching business for 18 years.  Long before a lot of people have any clue what coaching is.

I’ve had some accomplishments in the world of real estate investing.  But I think that you know if I had to really rank it as an accomplishment, I would say my greatest accomplishment to me is the fact that I did figure out what I love to do and figure out a way to make money doing it.

I mean that’s good living if you ask me so that’s kind of who I am.  I live in Atlanta, Georgia.  I have two grown sons.  I have a sailboat in the Bahamas that most people that know me end up hearing more about this. (laughing) Like if you want to know, I’m a sailor at heart so that’s who I am. Do you have a question about me?

Matt:  (laughing) Yeah.  We will certainly get to them but thank you for sharing all of that and you’ve touched on something that I frequently ask on this show and through emails is how do you find, you know, something or how do you identify what you love doing and how do you particularly, how do you define or how do you find the way to make money from that?  I mean, that’s a big place for people to get stuck is like what to do?  Okay? How do I do this?  Hopefully we can or we’ll have some time and we can touch on that al little bit later.

But I’ve asked you to join me today because of your expertise in this science of the brain and human behavior.  I thought you would have a new and refreshing perspective for the people that listen to this show with regard what’s ailing most in their Do Over.  I recently sent out a survey to the Your Do Over community.

I asked them what are their 3 biggest challenges that they’re facing in their starting over in life.  The number one answer is far away or run away leader was staying motivated and focused.  I’ve dedicated the last three episodes to that exact subject.

I’ve attacked it from multiple angles and perspectives at least all the angles and perspectives that I know of and try to arm the community with different tools and different strategies to maintain their motivation, to maintain their focus.

What type of advice or comments would you share with someone who’s struggling with staying motivated and focused?

Nancy:  Wow, that is really a big question. I have to tell you.  It’s absolutely one that I find with my coaching clients as well.  The answer’s kind of a long one so can I kind of roll into a lesson that I’ve learned on how the brain works and give sort of a wondering answer to that question?  Would that work for you, Matt?

Matt: Absolutely, Nancy.  The show today is yours.  So take off and do what you do.

Nancy:  (laughing) All right.  Great.  That sounds wonderful.  I tell you as we approach this lesson. The question that I would ask you to sort of what roll around into your mind, ask yourself this question: how is it that everybody feels like we’re going to feel better once we changed something in our life?

Once we get rich, I’ll be happy.  Once I get to find wealth, I’ll be happy.  Once I improve my health and lose weight, I’ll be happy.  Whatever it is we want to change in our life, we all live with this idea that once we make that change is that we will be happy.

Well I want to do is to present a little bit of lesson here that will tell you why that thinking is flawed and help you find a new way to think about that issue that absolutely will really impact your motivation and your focus.

I want to talk about a little bit about how the brain works.  You know?  Matt, the exciting thing to me is to, there’s so much study about the brain right now.  We have actually learned more in about the last 10 to 15 years, about how the brain works than we ever knew ever before that.

We’ve learned more in the last 10 to 15 years than we ever knew about how the brain works.  Now you described expertise to me and I’m flattered.  Thank you.  It’s a bit of an overstatement.

I love this topic and I would read everything I can about this topic.  I’m not a scientist, which maybe is a good news because it allows me to convey this information back to the other people in layman’s language but it goes like this, the way that information moves in our brain is that it happens like this.

There are little things called neurons.  I mean little like ity bitsy tiny of neurons.  They’re shaped kind of like the head of broccoli.  They hold and carry the nerves impulses that are transmitted information through our brain.

But the neurons don’t touch one another so think of two heads of broccoli close to each other.  When information is fired through the brain, it will zip one of those little, tiny heads of broccoli, scorch a chemical, and aim it to the other head of the broccoli.

Now the scientific description of this is really those heads of broccoli, which are actually called neurons.  They’re called the neurotransmitter.  From one neuron to the other and that’s the whole spurt of this chemical that the neurotransmitter that goes to the other head of broccoli.  The more often that same impulse is fired from one neuron to the other, the more developed what scientists call “the neuro-pathway.”

Neuro-pathways now Is if you don’t like this scientific language and it’s hard to keep up with.  You just think of the two heads of broccoli, squirting the little chemical juice from one to the other and it then eventually form the neuro-pathway.  That’s really actually just like a rut in the muddy road.

So what happens is when cars go down the muddy road over and over and over again.  They form a rut just like when this impulsive information in your brain happens repeatedly, it forms a neuro-pathway.  Now, the same thing is true with the muddy as is true in your plane.

That means that pathway is formed two things are true.  Number one, it’s hard not to drive in the rut.  It’s hard to stay; it’s hard to get out of the rut.  The second thing is true is it’s really hard to form new ruts.

So once those ruts are formed, pretty much all of the information will stay in those ruts.  That’s the same with the muddy road is as the same with your brain.

Now a couple of interesting points about how this works.  Number one is that the neuro-pathways are formed more deeply and more robustly when the information carried on those ruts is information that comes to you when you’re in a highly charged emotional state.  So what does that mean?

That means when we are feeling emotional about something, we remember it and we remember it better and the way we remember it better is actually the neuropathways are formed are deeper.

So there’s an example of that, what does that really mean in our daily life, one example of that is that I remember clearly at about 7 or 8 pm on October 28, 1967 that exactly what I was wearing and I was close dancing with Dan Moore to the song “Nights in White Satin.”  Okay?  (laughing)

Matt:  (laughing)

Nancy:  I remember that it was my 13th birthday.  It was Dan Moore’s 13th birthday. All right?  And that it was the first kiss.  I want to tell you that it was an emotionally charged state.  I remembered the song.  I remembered the dance.  I remembered the date.  I remember, I mean, I can smell it today.

So when I was in that highly charged emotional state that information was finely imprinted in my brain.  It’s really tough to erase so that’s how the brain works and stores information.

Now if it’s not in a highly charged state like that, what happens is that the more it is repeated, the deeper that neuropathway is formed.  The more firmly entrenched we are in that habit of thought.  That serves us well.

The brain is a powerful, cool, and fascinating thing that serves us well.  I mean every time I chew, I don’t have to stop and think.  I wonder which of these laces goes over the other one?  Right?

That’s how habits and thoughts are formed.  That’s how we can do things after some repetition without even thinking about them.

So it serves us very well in most of life. The way that doesn’t serve us very well is that how we don’t want to do over.

Matt:  Oh huh.

Nancy:  because the first step of a Do Over is to letting go of what you’re doing over.  You got to let go of the old one; you have to get out of the old rut before you have a new beginning to the new rut.

So the lesson from that and how to use that well is that there’s a couple of points to remember about on this brain pattern or brain behavior.  The first is number one, what we do always get easier to do it.  Anything we do, it gets easier the more we try to do it.

Now for most of us, that’s a good thing.  The more you work out, the more it just becomes a part of who you are. It gets easier to work out more.  The more whatever it is, the more you make sales call if you’re afraid to do them.

The more would be easier at desk.  Whatever you do gets easier, the caveat, the warning, the downside to that is if you tell a little white lie then it’s easier to lie.  If you do, some other behaviors that you are not proud of, the more that you do it.  The easier it gets to do it.

Now behaviorally, I find that fascinating. I think it’s a wonderful warning for anybody who’s under stress who’s tempted to go down the wrong road.  We see that all the time. Someone who used to be an outstanding person and once she step on the wrong road. She’s sure to go down that wrong road.

So that lesson is whatever you do, it gets easier to do it.  Keep everything that you do when you keep it on the right side of top side chart or the behavior that you want to reinforce that will be always make those behavior easier.

Number two emotions impact our learning.  I think that’s very, very powerful.  Impacts our learning and we can greatly enhance our learning when we use or learn to harness the power of emotions doing that.

The third lesson out of this “how this neurotransmitter sort of work for you,” the third lesson is that consistency is the key to making behavioral change.  Consistency always is the most important consideration when you are making a behavioral change.

So Matt, you probably have heard of that “It Takes 21 Days to Change a Habit.”  Have you heard of that?

Matt:   Yes, indeed.  I heard of that one.

Nancy:  Yeah.  Most people have.  I don’t know how this came from but I’m here to tell you that it’s a myth.  It’s not actually true.  Okay?

But there’s something kind of like that it’s true.  The “21 Days” is that I don’t know where it came from.  I think that it has come from resulted from the fact that when you do something repeatedly, you are laying down new neuropathways and you are eventually making that new behavior easier.

So it must have come from somewhere from that thinking but I want to tell a story about how we actually really did beg into learn about this and the value and the power of neuropathways.

They were studying astronauts way back at the very beginning of the space program.  What they wanted to do was find some ways to help astronauts prepare for this orientation that they would be feeling safe.

One of the things that they did was that they took these astronauts and designed these special goggles for the astronauts to wear.  They put these special goggles.  What happened was that these goggles turned everything saw upside down.

I don’t know about you but I think that’s “Disorientation 101.” (laughing)  That would be crazy.

Matt:  (laughing) Absolutely.

Nancy:  Yeah.  So these astronauts did day and night with these goggles.  Everything they saw was upside down.  They were studying them and measuring what happen in this crazy case of disorientation.

But the funny thing happened, around the one-month mark, one of the astronauts reported that there’s something crazy that happened but he was seeing right side up again.

The goggles didn’t change but his brain changed.  What happened was his brain figured out that this was now permanent and had been working diligently to lay down new neural pathways.

The brain did the work and slipped everything right side up again.  And he began seeing the world regularly even when he was wearing the goggles.

One of the things we learned from that it’s not this magic 21 days.  As they continued to study the astronauts, they found that it was all a little bit different amount of time but it takes about or maybe up to six weeks for new well-entrenched neural pathways to be formed.

So about a month maybe six weeks is a much better rule than this magical 21 days that we know about and then the other segment that they discovered.  This is the important part of the lesson I think from the astronaut was if the astronaut who get this glasses off even for just a little while when they put them back on.  Guess what happened?

Matt:  Everything’s upside down.

Nancy:  Yeah.  It’s clock started over again.

Matt:  Wow.

Nancy:  So it has to be done consistently when you take the goggles off.  You start all over again.  So that’s why my number three lesson, that’s the consistency is key.  What we know is that consistency is what will change those neural pathways.

And again if you go back to my silly analogy of rut in the road, you can imagine it’s sometimes you’re in them. You’re not to be effective that continually driving outside of the rut on that country road.

So consistency is the key so as I bring this back now to the idea of motivation and focus and how do we use this information in terms of motivation and focus?  Here’s the lesson that as you work over and over and over again.  My clients’ consistency prompts magnitude.  Those might not mean much not unless you break them down but we’ve all seen on FaceBook and all these kinds of other places where people are doing the “Thirty Day Challenge” or if you blog everyday for 30 Days or “The 90 Day Challenge.”  I’m going to work out everyday for an hour for 90 days or something big, hard challenge.

You know why they call it a challenge?  How many people do you think finish them?  I mean, right?

Matt: (laughing) They set themselves up for failure at the beginning.

Nancy:   Exactly.  Exactly.  That nobody can do that and the reason why, I’ll talk about the reason you can’t do it but instead if people set, instead of saying “I’m going to work out everyday for an hour fro 30 days.” And take that on as their thirty-day challenge.  The important part of that 30 days, yes that will create new behavioral change and why not set up fro a win?  Why not set up for a win instead of making something impossible out of it?  Okay?

Let’s talk about the impossible part of it now and how does it work with the brain.  Let’s say you or maybe not you in the generic I’ll say me.  Okay I’ll say me to lose 30 pounds.  I described that I’m going to eat 1200 calories and work out 60 minutes a day until I lose my 30 pounds.

Matt, you know me a little bit.  How do you think I can achieve that?

Matt:  Daunted to say the least I guess. (laughing).

Nancy:  Yeah, you’re being generous.  You’re being kind.  (laughing)  Exactly.  Are you kidding me?  Do I have to do that?  I would be resistant.  Right?

It sounds too much especially if you are an athlete and overweight until whether it is about health or money or wealth or love or whatever is going on in your life.  Whatever your Do Over is, if what you or if your goal is to take an immediately make a dramatic shift.  Absolutely there will be resistance.  And again, this comes a little bit from human nature but this comes actually from the science of how the brain works.

What we know is that making a big change is, you know, change is difficult and that triggers in us an emotion that is like fear.  And fear is rooted in the part of the brain that then in the development of the brain is the oldest part of the brain.

It is that comes from that fight or flight mechanism.  Believe me, I’ll be fighting and fleeing from the idea of 1200 calories a day and working out.  (laughing)

Matt:  (laughing) Fighting and fleeing.  Running backward and swinging your arms.  Right?

Nancy:  Exactly.  (laughing)  Whatever it took to get me out of that one.  Okay?  And so when we are in that mode or when I would be in that mode and we just think in fear of this change coming up.  I’m using an older part of the brain.

So the newer in terms of the development of humans and newer parts of the brain that manages some thinking reasoning, and rational and those kinds of things.  It gets pretty much shut down.  The older parts of the brain takes over and to protect like “I’m going to protect this poor girl.”

Our brain then is quite literally fueling that resistance that I would be feeling to a change.  Well no wonder no people can handle that “Thirty Days Challenge.”  They got chemical reaction in their brain saying “no danger, danger.  Run away.  This is hard.  This is scary.  This is bad for you,” expecting a big behavioral change out of that is not really going to happen.

So what do you do instead?  We all are looking for some kind of magic bullet for change.  Well, we don’t’ have a magic bullet but I do have something that will all of a sudden be shift.  Your head and your heart into that place to get your motivation and focus.

And it sounds like a crazy answer but instead taking this giant ball of change.  What I talked about instead is make the tiniest change you can in the right direction.  When I say tiny, I mean incredibly super tiny so for me if I’m 30 pounds overweight.

And I’m really resisting on a behavioral change.  I really need a serious make over about my health habits.  What I might suggest to me is to put on your workout clothes, Nancy, and good workout shoes and watch television and stand up and march in place every single day for a minute.

(laughing)  I can hear people say, “are you crazy?”  One minute, that’s not going to do anything.

Matt:  Right.

Nancy:  That’s not going to create any change but the change it will create is the change in your brain.  Because the first step of the change means you get out of that fight or flight mode and now I can stay in my rational brain because this is a good thing.  This is a behavior that I support so I stay in control of my brain.  It completely dissipates resistance.

That’s the most important part.  It completely dissipates that fight or flight style of resistance.  In fact, the opposite happens.  You know, buy this all the time by the people of coaching about 4th or 5th say, they would be going “well, I still feel silly from marching in place for two minutes. I thought I could do it for four (minutes).

Matt:  Right.

Nancy:  And it brought you forward.  It creates that vacuum in front of you that you want to do a little bit more.  Then, so now you’re moving forward.  You’re going to stay in that place of even more motivation or even probably more focus.  You’re drawing forward to that.  And you actually can do that for 30 days.

When you knew now, do that behavior in 30 days.  Guess what happens?  You’re laying down new neural pathways.  You probably laying down even deeper neural pathways because as you’re doing it each day you’re saying, “Wow!  This was kind of nice.  This is kind of fun. I feel good about myself when I’m doing this. “

So you’re laying your emotion.  You’re consistently engaging in a new behavior.  You dissipated the resistance.  After 30 days, now that’s when the magic happens.  You have a new neural pathway.

You have a new habit of thought that existed on that new neural pathway.  And that’s the point where you could be driving on those new ruts.  Now you can get crazy, as you want to get.  You can start working out for 30 minutes, 40 minutes a day.

You can add the magnitude in once you have the neural pathway done because at that point it will become easy and interesting.  Oh yeah.  I’m an exerciser.  Yeah, I’m going to the gym and bench-press something today.  Then I do these other things.

We are setting neural pathway now any vehicles down that neural pathway will be probably easier.  So that’s the point when you can stop the magnitude.  So shoot! I told you it’s kind of a long way to get there.  Right, Matt?

Matt:  It was.  (laughing)  it was really clear the way you laid it out.  I mean it sounds like that just, first of all, we talked a lot about on this show is the words you use like your vocabulary.

Just by calling something a “Thirty Day Challenge” like we mentioned or you mentioned.  It sets you up for failure right there.  You’re making it sound like it’s something hard.

Nancy:  Right.

Matt:  Right?  And then the other aspect that I experienced myself by the nature of you being a human being as well.  You probably experienced this also is that we all want immediate change.  We want it now.  I think the more that society involves; the more we are impatient doing those.  The impatience grows, I should say, our patience dwindles.

You know, it’s just like you got to accept that there isn’t silver bullet.  You know if you want something.  It’s the small, little baby steps.  Those small little changes and kind of reminds me of the success cycle, you know you take on these small little activities and you get these small, raw moments of success.  Success begets success.

Nancy:  Exactly.

Matt:  It starts doing that and rolling it just like a snowboard.  The word that you use magnitudes.  It starts to increase and then we’re changed actually become lasting.  I mean that 21 days cycle, I mean I’ve exercised multiple times for 21 straight days and that 22nd day was just as difficult as the 1st day to get out of bed. (laughing)  So I guess I got to do 6 weeks so I’m going to march in front of the TV today.

Nancy:  (laughing) Yeah.  That’s resistant brain entrapment.  My kids here are a little longer.

Matt:  Right.  Right. (laughing) Okay.  Thank you.  It was a long answer but it was really a good answer.  It’s something that I might want to listen again so thank you for sharing that.  That’s exactly why I invited you to the show because I know you would be a wealth of information.

Nancy:  You’re welcome.  You know, can I give the capper?   Because I opened this with a question that said, “we all seem to think that if you know once I’m happy I would be rich.  Once I’m rich, I’ll be happy.   Once I find love, I’ll be happy.  Once I have better health, I would be happy.  What I believe is true now instead when I work on with everybody I work with and where we see great results is when you slip that statement.

Once I’m happy, I’ll be rich. Once I’m happy, I’ll meet the love of my life.  Once I’m happy, I’ll have better health.  And it’s a simple expression but what it means is that we think that this outward things that we have or produce are the things that will bring the emotional state that we want.

The reality is that when you stay in that grumpy, “I-have-to-work-out-hard-everyday” when you stay in that mode, there’s no way.  You’re either going to be happy to get the results that I want. But when I find a way to stay in that more empowered, positive emotional state then I can produce results in every area of my life.

So if you’re listening in today and you think that you know once I get X, I’ll feel better.  I’m here to tell you that without a doubt I absolutely know that once you find a way to shift your emotional state and live in that more empowered, resourceful emotional state.  You can produce any results that you want so once you’re happy that’s when you’ll get rich.

Matt:  Right.  Just kind of reverse the order of things

Nancy:  Yeah.  (laughing)

Matt: Awesome.  Thanks for that.  Thanks for your insights.  I’m so glad I asked you to be part of the show.  Now I remember why what inspired the initial thought to call you and to reconnect with you so I’m so glad I did.  Let’s change gear a bit.

This is the Do Over show.  The theme being taking people’s hindsight and transforming it into one’s foresight, learning from others’ mistakes is another words.  I mean can you give at least one more if you wish because I know that you mentioned on the top of the show that you had a great success but you had some real challenges and I forget the exact words that you used but disappointments I’ll use.

Can you give at least invaluable lesson you learned from a past failure or a past failed attempts?  Specifically the type of lesson or mistake you swear you’ll never make again.

Nancy:  I’m happy to do that.  That’s easy for me.  I’m well beyond your years.  You don’t get to this far in life without having at least a few really spectacular crashes. My philosophy is that if you’re living a lot then you have to have a few spectacular crashes along the way. I certainly had my share. (laughing)

Matt:  Right.  We all have.

Nancy:  Yeah.  So you know, one of them that I would really love to share and people seen me in my classes or something.  My signature speech revolves the time when I had a golf lesson.  Some things that I learned from a golf lesson and so if there’s anybody listening in and saw me speak about it then that’s what this topic is.

It goes a little bit like this.  I don’t have time to do the entire story but.  About 20 years ago or more I guess, I don’t remember when it started.  I went into this business.  I was doing conference management.  And my business was going along and pretty successful.  What happened is for 10 years time in that business, I was so entirely, completely absorbed in that business.  Whether it’s doing well or whatever or it’s doing badly or whether we are in business or whether we are selling like crazy to get business.  No matter the state of my business or no matter the state of the economy, my employees, my customers, or anything, I was like a 120% absorbed in that business.

I knew that if I just worked a little harder and did a little more then there was some magic pay off at the end of the rainbow.  At the end of the day, I can sell this business or something good will happen.  People would say to take more time off.  I said no.  I can’t do that right now.

In 10 years time, Matt, in 10 years I worked probably 60 to 70 hours a week while some times as long as 80 hours a week, I mean worked my tail off.  And in 10 years, I did not take one single vacation.

And my thought in that time that it was okay because there was going to be some pay off later.  And hopefully I would be really rich and I could sell the business and make a ton of money.  Well guess what?  At the end of 10 years, I didn’t.  The business kind of dissolved and went away.

The industry changed.  I was burnt out and a lot of those things happened.  The business basically became nothing. I had worked 10 years for nothing.  I became unemployed.  As I looked back on it, the lesson in that for me or the crash in that for me is that for 10 years I gave away my soul.

Now at the end of that 10-year time, I lost the business so it became a so what.  It became 10 years wasted that I could never, never get back but I made a lot of money.  The business was great.  I felt like I made a whole lot of money in those 10 years.

So what?  I still lost my soul for 10 years time of no vacations only work. You know, I missed out on my kid’s growing up, which is something that you know you can identify with your spectacular grand new baby son, Mateo.

You know I missed the 10 years of time with my father.  You know, I missed one of his birthday parties.  Life is going on around me and I kept saying that “no I can’t do that now.  I’ll do that later.”

There’s no later.  When 10 years has gone, they’re just gone.  So the lesson out of that for me is if you’re going to be completely absorbed into something.  I think that’s great. I think that’s wonderful.  Let it be something that you’re being absorbed in that you’re not missing in life along the way.  Get more life.

And that business that was coaching or training, I’ve been connected and loving it along the way.  That’s great.  Had it been a lot of other or had it gone any other way.  Whether it was more of me with more heart, more passion, my soul, and value then it would have been 10 years.

Whatever you’re doing if you’re listening to this call, make sure that you’re living right now.  Live today.  You might work a lot of hours or a few hours but make sure that it’s really living that at the end of each day, you can go “yeah.  That was good.”

If you’re living all out, don’t get 10 years down the road.  And find out that you kind of blew it.  You kind of flushed 10 years and you cannot get them back.

Matt:  Right.  Right.  (laughing)  Wow.  You got me.  You got me out of your answer.  I didn’t know what it was going to be but it got me out of the phone call and thinking about the times that I’ve wasted, you know.

That when you are an entrepreneur, it is so easily to completely dedicate and commit and immerse in your pursuits.  And when you look back at the times or events that you missed like gatherings that you have stepped on, you look back and say, “why did I miss that again?

What was the reason why it didn’t happen?  You know, I just talked to a friend about his 40th birthday party.    And it was just a couple of weeks ago and I hadn’t talk to him in a couple of years.  I knew that he would be happy to see me and it would be a great surprise at his 40th birthday party.

I RSVPs but for one reason or the other, I couldn’t remember what it was.  That was how tragic this is.  I can’t even remember why I didn’t go but I do remember that I missed his 40th birthday party.

Nancy:  Yeah.

Matt:  That was just a conversation that I had a couple of days that we were actually getting together tomorrow I’ll make that up to him but you know what?  It won’t even compare to what it would have been to actually show up at his birthday.  I get it.  Thanks for knocking me off my feet, Nancy.  (laughing).

Nancy:  Yeah. (laughing)

Matt:  Well let’s turn this around a little bit.  Up to this point in your life, what are you Nancy Dana most proud of?

Nancy:  Well that’s a really cool follow up to what I just been saying because that’s such an easy one to answer.  I have two grown sons and like any mother would say they’re the coolest men around.  You know, they’re good as the guest.  And I got the mother’s pride for them but when you ask me what I’m proud of.

Happily what I’m proud of is that both of my sons now do for a living work to what is completely who they are in their soul and what are their values.  So it’s exactly the thing that I’m talking about.

One of my sons, he is born to fish. Okay?  I didn’t set it.  The kid likes to fish when he was 12 years old. He would find other adults for people to take him fishing because I’m not a fishing girl.  (laughing)

This is coming from me but that kid was born to fish.  As a grown up, he is a spectacular fishing guy that in Colorado he manages around the fishing stores.  He takes fishing vacations.  He is a designs fly that has flies named after him.  So he really lives his passion.  He’s just engaged into that completely.  My other son, the same story, he got in Portland, Oregon just completely lives who he is.

Having come off my story about 10 years when I kind of lost who I was and questioned time.  I am absolutely most proud of that fact somehow this lesson be given my amazing cool sons that they really do live all of their lives exactly who they are.  That just doesn’t get better than that.

Matt:  Awesome.  Awesome.  So what’s in your future right now that you’re really excited about?

Nancy:  (laughing) Well this is a pretty funny one.  As I thought about what’s in my future and started thinking, “hmmm, what can I share?”  There’s an interesting little twist because I love the coaching that I do.  I don’t want to not be connected to my coaching clients but the Internet makes all things possible these days.

And you know that I love sailing.  I have sailboat that normally lives in the Bahamas.  I own that with my cousin.  He just bought a fantastic piece of land on a private island in the Bahamas where there is only one other couple who lives on the entire island.

I’m thinking about checking out in a couple of years to go down and live with him on this private island and help him build his house on a private island.

Matt:  Wow.

Nancy:  Yeah.  So the beauty is that I sometimes couldn’t even consider why I would go but the other guy has a private island.  That’s great.  He’s been there for 20 years.  He has great Internet access so I can do some coaching and writing in the morning.

I can go sailing and snorkeling in the afternoon and help build an electrical or solar electrical system, and arranged a rainwater collecting system in the house in the evenings and just absolutely live in paradise.

So it’s not definite and it’s not for sure but I’m thinking it.  It sounds like a pretty good way to go.

Matt:  Great.  I was distracted.  I got the Ringling Bros., Barnum and Bailey Circuses across the street today.  They’re marching across the street and blowing horns.  I was like, “oh, I hope this doesn’t come on the recording.” (laughing)

Nancy:  (laughing) That’s great.  I’m not hearing the circus.  I’m just thinking, “living in a private island and building a house sounds like a little bit of circus to me.”  But I think it sounds pretty fun.

Matt:  No.  I’m already excited for you and I’m not even going.  That’s awesome.  That’s just cool.  That kind of brings me to other things.  If people would like to learn more about you or they want to get in contact with you.  How do recommend them in to do that?

Nancy:  It’s really easy.  I would love to get in touch with people and all things personal development. The best way is through my website, which is my name with a hyphen in the middle, nancy-dana.com.

And I’m going to post on there a white paper so listeners would go and take a look at the science of the brain information that we talked about today.  So if your notes and your listening weren’t keeping up with that.

You can just go check in nancy-dana.com.  You’ll have my clip notes and my white papers about neural pathways.

Matt: Awesome.  I think we are definitely approaching the time when we got to wrap it up.  But we touched some a couple of things that I would love for you to come back and speak to us about one we didn’t get to it.

One is common ailment of this community, which is “Paralysis by Analysis.”  And I know that you have a lot to say about that.  I would love you to come back and talk about that.

The other things that I would love you to come and talk about because I think you are a shining example of this.  And that’s defining your passion and figuring out a way to make a living from that.  So would you be open to come back in the very near future and help us with those two questions?

Nancy:  I would be more than happy to do that.  Analysis and Paralysis is definitely something I spent a lot of time on and how it relates directly to procrastination and how you can use again understanding the brain and the emotions that kind of break out with that.

That would be a really fun call to spend a little bit of time on. And passion then that’s my thing so I’m more than happy to talk to you about that.  I love the opportunity to be here.  I love connecting with you again, Matt.  I’m in.  You name the time and place and I’ll be there for you, my friend.

Matt: (laughing) Great.  You said it.  I’ll hold on to it.  I want to do that in the very near future.  I don’t want to blow it off because it actually fits in with what we are going to be covering over the next few months on the show.

Awesome. I’m glad that you are open to it.  I’m so grateful and so appreciative that you’re here today and spend this time with us.  I know you are really busy.  I just feel so honored and blessed.  Thank you, Nancy.  We will talk to you in the very near future.

Nancy:  Thank you, Matt.

Matt:  Take care.

Nancy:  Bye bye.

Matt:  Okay.  That’s it for today.  We will certainly have Nancy back in the near future to share her perspective on “Paralysis and Analysis” and “How to Earn Doing What You Love.”  If you want to get in contact with Nancy before then, you can do so by visiting nancy (dash) dana.com, nancy-dana.com. Hyphen or dash whatever you want call it, nancy-dana.com.

Okay.  So on the next episode, I got another really great interview for you.  I’m really excited about this because you know I went out on a limb and I just took a shot.  I requested an interview from this author.  He quickly responded with a yes.

I was really surprised on how quickly he responded.  This author is not your regular author.  And what I mean by that is, you know how every once in a while you read a book literally alters the way you think.  What changes the way you do things changes the way you look at life.  You know, for example, Anthony Robbins’ book “Awaken a Giant Within.”  That literally altered my thinking in a way that I was a different person after I read that book.  And Robert KIyosaki’s “Rich Dad, Poor Dad.”

I mean, its something very similar so much that if I had read that book, my senior high school my life would have been entirely different.  And Timothy Ferriss’ book “4-Hour Workweek,” I mean that opened a whole new world for me in the realm of business.  It taught me about business systems.  It taught about delegating and outsourcing and things I had heard of but I just really didn’t know just how to do.

And Jeff Olson’s book “Slight Edge,” it cleared so much of the junk in my thinking.  The type of junk and gunk that you accumulate over the years.  It simplified what it takes to be successful. I mean it really put it in the simplest form.  Those are four books that have changed my life.  I read them all multiple times I continue to read them again and again and again.

This year, actually just a couple of weeks ago, I stumbled a book of which I’m adding to this collection.  You know in some respects well in many respects actually, it’s debatably number one or number two favorite book of all time now.

And maybe you will think so also or maybe you will not but I think why this book struck me so powerfully is that I discovered it precisely the right time in my life.  I’ll reveal that book in the next episode as well as introduce you to the author.  I can’t wait.  I should have it up on the weekend for you so that’s it for today.

God loves you and so do I.  I am Matt, the Do Over guy.  I will see you on the next episode of Your Do Over.

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