How to Get Success When Starting Over in Life, Part I | DO 39

How to Get SuccessIf you want something out of life that you don’t currently have, you will have to be and/or do something that you are not currently being or doing.  On this episode , Matt begins a multi-part series sharing key concepts and distinctions on how to get success when starting over in life.



Resources mentioned in this episode:

Podcast Transcript:

Matt:  Hey, this is Matt, “The Do Over Guy,” and this is Your Do Over: Episode 39.

Announcer: During an era where countless people, businesses, and organizations are feeling the pinch, running out of time, running out of money, losing confidence, feeling as if life is unfair, praying for another chance and unless something is done, life is going to pass them by. Life is going to pass them by.

Fortunately, in the nick of time, there is now a place where the ignored, underestimated and unknown steps to producing results and making life work are revealed. Save your career. Save your business. Save your health. Save your relationships. Save your life. Get from where you are to where you want to be, faster and with greater ease than you ever thought possible.  Say, “Hello!” to Your Do Over.

Matt:  Welcome to Your Do Over, coming to you live from downtown Los Angeles. This is the place where I show people who want more out of life, people dissatisfied with their current situation, how to start over and begin a new life, setting goals and objectives so they can create wealth and live life to the fullest.

You can jumpstart your Do Over and lay a solid foundation for a better life by downloading the Three Pillars of Creating the Ultimate Do Over for free at It’s a 55-minute mp3 audio program that I made just for you with three specific steps on how to get success as you start over.

The Three Pillars of Creating the Ultimate Do Over will put the legs under your table. They will lay the foundation for you to achieve. They will act as your traveling success coach, and they’re yours for free at

Okay so today’s topic “How to Get Success When Starting Over in Life.”  Actually, this is part one.  I’m not sure how many parts there are going to be but I’m just going to roll with it so the first step in the starting over is obviously you got to know what you want.  You got to know what success is going to be to you.

And knowing what you want that could be something is very personal.  The word “success” is a rather relative term so the first step in getting success is defining what it is to you.

Now that might be a new job paying $100,000 a year.  It might be starting a new business that generates a million dollars per year.  Or maybe it’s creating enough time so you can watch your children grow up.  Or maybe it’s making just enough money to buy your parents a hose. Maybe that would be successful to you.  You have arrived.

I mean that was always a dream of mine and it’s still is. I’m going to do it.  I’m going to fulfill it.  I will buy my mother a house so whatever it is maybe there are multi-dimensions on what success is to you.  Maybe it’s all the above.  It’s everything I mentioned.

But whatever it is you need to decide for you.  Okay?  That’s a first step.  Now the second step is there’s this unavoidable path that each and every one of you are going to have to take when starting over in life.  You see if there’s something that you don’t have right now, it’s typically a result of who you are being or what you are doing or both.

So to get something that you don’t have, you are going to be somebody you haven’t been.  You’re going to have to do something that you haven’t done or do something that you are not currently doing.  Does that make sense?

So you are going to do something else.  You might have to also stop doing other activities or taking other actions in that same space so it could be “I got to start doing something new or I’ve got to stop doing what I was doing.”  Either way, there’s going to be a transitional period.  There’s going to be a learning process.  You’re going to have essentially learned something new.

Now if you’re starting over doing the same thing that you were doing, then maybe you’re going to have to increase your skills or learn some new skills inside of that venture.  Or if you’re starting over something entirely different, you’re definitely going to have probably learned something new.  You’re going to have to this unavoidable path.

I mean each and every one of you you’re going to have to take this path when starting over in life.  The path that you’re going to travel actually comes in levels we call it the “four levels of learning.”

Okay.  The “four levels of learning,” they’re completely unavoidable.  For example, there was a time where you didn’t even know what walking was.  You didn’t know what the word meant, probably long time.  You were probably very, very young but there was a moment when you didn’t know what walking was.  You were in that first level of learning called unconscious incompetence.

Unconscious incompetence.  You just don’t know that you don’t know. You just don’t have a clue.  Then you reached the 2nd level, once you actually learn what walking is.  You know what it is but you can’t yourself walk yet.  That’s called “conscious incompetence.”  You now know that you don’t know something.

So those are your first two levels.

Now you decided, okay, I know what walking is. Now I want to do it so now you’ve got to make your way to the 3rd level of learning.  We call that “conscious competence,” that means you can walk but you got to think about it.  You’re going to be little wobbly on your legs. You’ll going to have to hold on to the coffee table.  You’ve got to hold on to the couch. You might fall down a few times.  Well, you’ll going to fall down quite a bit in the beginning but you’re just going to have to go through it.  That’s the only way that you can actually get there.  It’s the only way you can get to that 3rd level or that “conscious competence” level.

The sad thing is most people kind of hover in between that first and second level in just about everything they do in life.  They never actually go through the process of becoming consciously competent.

The next level or the fourth level of learning is “unconscious competence.”  This is when it actually becomes 2nd nature.  So right now if the doorbell rang, you could probably just get up pout of your chair and walk to the door without even thinking about it.  Right?

That’s because you hit that unconscious competent level.  We experience that with tying our shoe.  You’ve gone through those 4 levels.  There’s a time you didn’t know what a shoelace then you didn’t know how to tie that shoe.  Then you probably sat on your parent’s lap, had their arms around you, they made the little loops and the bow, and you went through that.  You had to practice that and practice that.  Then all of sudden, one day, you got it.  Oh my gosh!  I tied my shoe all by myself.  You hit that conscious competent level.

Now that doorbell rang or if you’re late for an appointment, you could probably bend over, tie your shoe, and run out the door without ever thinking about it.  Without ever analyzing how did my shoe just get tied?  No. It just happened.

That’s that 4th level of competence.  And to go form that 3rd level to the 4th level, its just massive repetition.  Repetition is the mother of skill.  That’s how a skill is created.  It’s just like tying a shoe.  It’s just like driving a stick shift.  Oh god!  Do I remember driving a stick shift for the first time?  It’s just like playing tennis.  It’s like speaking a foreign language.  It’s like running a business.  That’s how a skill is created when you’re starting over in life.

When you’re starting over in anything.  And that’s how we are compensated in our society.  The level of our skills compensates us.  Each and every one of us are paid in direct proportion to the supply and demand of what we do, how well we do it, and how difficult it is to replace us.

For example, a doctor.  They get paid very well in our society.  There’s a huge demand.  The supply and demand for doctors is great.  People get sick all the time.  They need a doctor.  When someone is sick, that demand is high for the doctor.  They get paid based off that then how well they do it so if they’re good at their job.  I mean every one wants to the best doctor when they’re sick.

They always want to the cancer specialist.  You always want to go to the heart specialist.  You always want to go to the bone specialist, to the joint specialist, or the arthritis specialist.  We all want to go to the best doctor so how well he does his job or how well she does her job, she’s going be paid in proportion to that.

And then how difficult it is to replace them that tie a little bit in how well they do it but how much education have they consumed.  How much training have they gone through?  Did it take them 10, 15, 20, 30 years to reach that level of expertise?

That would be a very difficult person to replace.  That’s why they make so much money.  That’s just how it works in our society.  Now if you took a secretary or an administrative assistant, there’s a lot of supply and demand so they get paid okay.

But then there are different levels of secretaries, aren’t they?  There’s the paper pushers or the girl that goes and makes the copies, the guy that goes and fills the coffee cups or does the dictation or does the filing.  Then you have the person who’s the actual office manager because they do their job really well.  They’re in charge of training others how to do the same.  Then how difficult it is to replace them.

Well maybe to become an expert secretary and an expert administrative assistant or even an expert office manager might just be 4, 5, 10 years.  I don’t know.  But certainly not going to take 30 years.  Right?

So their compensation is an indirect proportion to the supply and demand of what they do, which there is demand for that position.  How well they do it?  Obviously when someone finds a good administrative assistant and if you ever try hire one, you understand that they are not abundant.

When you find a good one, you want to hold on to that person.  Then how difficult it is to replace them.  If they worked for you for a long time, you’ll going to keep giving them a pay raise because you know that you might not have the time in your schedule to stop what you’re doing and go train somebody new.

It’s the paid proportion of that.  Then you have a janitor. Janitor supply and demand for janitors, there’s absolutely a demand for janitors.  Then you have the good ones who can work without supervision.  That’s a value to people so they paid in proportion to that and how difficult it is to replace them.

Now if they work it say at school.  It’s probably not that difficult of a job and not that difficult to replace that person. But maybe they work somewhere in high security and they had to get a certain security clearance just to get in that particular hallway to mop the floor.  I don’t know.  I

M just kind of speaking so you can see that the supply and demand of what they do, how well they do it, and how difficult it is to replace them corresponds to their compensation.

So obviously a janitor at the local high school is not going to make as much money as the janitor at The Pentagon. Makes sense?

Then maybe you look at the professional athlete.  Demand for what they do?  Absolutely, especially if they’re good.  Right?  I mean the athletes that make it to the pros, that they represent the top 1% or maybe even the top 0.1% of the entire population that does what they do.

Did you know how good you have to be just to sit on the bench of the NBA?  You got to be amazing just to sit on the bench.  So what about the people that start?  No wonder they make so much money.

People pay a $100 or the nosebleed sits, the worse seats you can buy across the Staple Center for a hundred bucks.  The worst seats or the ones farthest away or the ones up in the rafters.  People pay it.  It sells out all the time.

So of course there’s a demand for it than how well they do it.  Obviously they get paid in proportion to how well they contribute to the team’s winning and how difficult it is to replace them.

You look at someone like Shaquille O’Neal.  You don’t have a guy’s 300 pounds, 7’2” just walking around.  That’s a difficult person to find.  He makes a lot of money for that.

And you have a Kobe Bryant, one of the most amazing basketball players of all time.  It’s very difficult to replace them.  The Lakers do everything that they can to hold on to him including pay him very, very well.

You know, Michael Jordan.  You know his name because there isn’t another one.  That’s how difficult it is to replace him so of course he made a lot of money.  So whether you are a doctor or a secretary or janitor or professional athlete, you’re going to be paid based on that skill.  That’s just how it’s done in our society.

For each and every one of those professions, for them to have created that skill, they had to go through the 4 levels of learning.  There was a time that Kobe Bryant know what a basketball was.  There was a time when secretary didn’t know what a word processor was.  There was a time when doctor didn’t know what a scalpel was.  But they went through the 4 Levels of Learning.  They completed those 4 Levels of Learning.  They did over, over, and over.

They created massive repetition in developing that skill and now there’s an extreme demand for the good ones.  They do it really good because they had so much repetition and went through so much training.  It’s a really difficult to replace those people because not everybody actually very small portion of our population will actually travel the 4 Levels of Learning until they reach a level of unconscious competence.

So as you’re starting over in life on how to get success, you’re going to have to learn something new knowing that how should you go about it.  For example, I remember when I first learned how to snowboard.  Okay?  There was a time when I was a skier.  There was no such thing as snowboards so there’s even a time I could remember when I was full adult, when I was a mature adult, I don’t know if I’m actually mature but I am an adult, but there was a time when I didn’t even know what a snowboard was.

So I was at the first level of learning.  Right?  I was unconsciously incompetent.  Then I saw a snowboard.  I was like, “hmm, that looks interesting.”  It was actually appealing to me because I didn’t want to carry around two poles.  I didn’t want to carry the two poles and the two skis.  I was like; “ I just put the board under my arm.  That looks much more manageable. “

I loved the skiing part.  I just hated the time in between the skiing and the lodger, the skiing in the lift. I decided that I take up snow boarding.  So just imagine if you ever done that, I t was probably the most difficult thing I’ve ever gone through that I can remember as an adult.  It was the most difficult thing I had to learn because everything was just counterintuitive.

I mean you’re going down the hill at 10, 20 miles an hour.  To slow down, you actually have to lean forward.  Very counterintuitive.  I mean if you are out of control going down to the slope, the last thing you want to do or the last thing your body wants to do is lean forward.  But you just kind of trust it but to get to that level of trust, you got to do go through the 4 levels of learning.

I went through the 4 levels of learning.  Now today, I’m a pretty decent snow boarder but I wanted to say discuss here is how you go about learning something.  So for example, snow boarding, let’s just say random arbitrary number that you have to fall 12 times before you actually become competent.  You got to fall 12 times before you become competent.  Okay?

So now there’s 3 or 4 different ways you can go about that.  You can decide, “okay.  I’m going to learn how to snow board.  I know I have to fall 12 times before I’m actually going to become competent before I know how to snow board.  So I’m just going to fall once a month.

At the end of the year, I’ll be a snowboarder.  I’ll be a competent snowboarder.  All right?  So if you decided to fall once a month, would you really know how to snowboard at the end of the year?  Probably not.  Even though you did fall your 12 times.  And here’s why.

Because if you let too much time pass between your failures, between your attempts, you have a tendency to forget.  Then you have to start all over again. So let’s speed it up a little bit.  Let’s say you fall twice a month, it’s going to take you 6 months to fall 12 times.  You’re going to walk up to the slope, fall once, get up, try again, and fall again, and then, “All right. That’s it for today. I’ll wait until next month.”

So that’s how that would work.  You’d fall twice a month for 6 months.  You’ve fallen 12 times.  All right?  So at the end of 6 months, you might be able to figure it out.  You might be able to get up on your feet; you’re making it down maybe some on the easier slopes.  You’re up essentially when you’ve hit that level of conscious competence.  Right?

There are your two scenarios.  You fall once a month that takes you a year. You fall twice a month that takes you six months.  But what if you went out today to decide to learn snowboarding and you decided, “I’m going to fall 12 times today.”

You would be a competent snowboarder at the end of the day.  But here’s what more important, at the end of the year, which one of those three scenarios would you be the best snow boarder that you could be?

Yes.  The third one?  Right?  The one where you fell 12 times in a day because you’ve had 364 more days to continue snowboarding.  I guess it depends on where live.  Let’s just imagine for this example that it’s winter year-round but if you fell 12 times in one day, you’re a competent snowboarder at the end of one day.  So you have 364 more days to practice your skill, to perfect your technique.

So here’s what I want you to get from this, when you’re starting in life, how to get success when you’re starting over in life.  You got to understand that you have to learn something new.  You’re going to have to go through the 4 levels of learning.  I want you to get from that last example is it’s easier to learn fast than it is slow.

When you choose to learn fast, first it’s easier and second it produces a better result.  It produces a better snowboarder.  So whatever it is that you have to learn inside of your Do Over as you are starting in life, learn it fast.  Maybe you have to go and start from scratch and actually take a course maybe you have to buy a book, maybe you have to attach to a mentor, maybe you got to go to a seminar, maybe you got to go back to college, maybe you got to a technical school.  Whatever it is that you got to go do, you’re going to have to learn something different.  You have to go learn something new if you want to get something that you’ve never had.

So on how to get success when starting in life.  Step 1 define success for yourself.  Step one is define success for yourself.

Step 2 is established what new skill you will have to learn to produce that success.  Maybe it’s more than one skill, maybe it’s a few of them so established what new skill you have to learn to produce that success that new definition of success that you’ve created for yourself.

And step 3, embrace the 4 levels of learning and embrace the concept of fail, fail fast and fail often.  If you want to double your success rate, double your failure rate.

That’s it for today.  God loves you and so do I.  I am Matt, the Do Over guy.  I will see you on the next episode of your Do Over.

Announcer:  Thank you for tuning in to Your Do Over, where the ignored, underestimated, and unknown steps to producing results and making life work are revealed. And remember, knowledge is potential power. Take action on what you learned today. This is not your learn over. It’s Your Do Over.

To view the resources referenced in today’s show and to retrieve a complete show transcript, visit Stay connected with Matt, the Do Over Guy, Theriault on Twitter at TheDoOverGuy and on Facebook at