How to Get Success When Starting Over in Life, Part II | DO 40

How to get success when starting over in life? is a question that is asked of the Do Over guy countless times per week. There probably isn’t a “one size fits all ” answer, but there are definite answers. The Do Over Guy continues his series “How to Get Success When Starting Over in Life” addressing the invisible influence that significantly contributes to each person’s success or failure. In most cases, it is the difference maker.

How to Get SuccessHow to get success when starting over in life? is a question that is asked of the Do Over guy countless times per week. There probably isn’t a “one size fits all ” answer, but there are definite answers. The Do Over Guy continues his series “How to Get Success When Starting Over in Life” addressing the invisible influence that significantly contributes to each person’s success or failure. In most cases, it is the difference maker.

 

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Podcast Transcript:

Matt:  Hey, this is Matt, “The Do Over Guy,” and this is Your Do Over: Episode 40.

Announcer: During an era where countless people, businesses, and organizations are feeling the pinch, running out of time, running out of money, losing confidence, feeling as if life is unfair, praying for another chance and unless something is done, life is going to pass them by. Life is going to pass them by.

Fortunately, in the nick of time, there is now a place where the ignored, underestimated and unknown steps to producing results and making life work are revealed. Save your career. Save your business. Save your health. Save your relationships. Save your life. Get from where you are to where you want to be, faster and with greater ease than you ever thought possible.  Say, “Hello!” to Your Do Over.

Matt:  Welcome to Your Do Over, coming to you live from downtown Los Angeles. This is the place where I show people who want more out of life, people dissatisfied with their current situation, how to start over and begin a new life, setting goals and objectives so they can create wealth and live life to the fullest.

You can jumpstart your Do Over and lay a solid foundation for a better life by downloading the Three Pillars of Creating the Ultimate Do Over for free at FreeDoOver.com. It’s a 55-minute mp3 audio program that I made just for you with three specific steps on how to get success as you start over.

The Three Pillars of Creating the Ultimate Do Over will put the legs under your table. They will lay the foundation for you to achieve. They will act as your traveling success coach, and they’re yours for free at FreeDoOver.com.

Okay.  Hey, welcome to “How to Get Success When Starting in Life Part 2.”  There are actually before parts to this series.  I’ve made up my mind now.  I’m going to do 4-parts.  I’m going to address 4 key elements that will remove much of the mystery of how to get success when starting in life.

You know last episode we discussed the 4 levels of learning that each and every one of us has to go through when starting something new or when learning something new specifically.  I mean it’s unavoidable.

What you’re going to come to know is that it’s impossible to learn and look good so don’t worry about looking good while you’re going through this process.  Just accept it and embrace it.  And just travel that road as fast as possible.  It’s easier, much easier to learn fast than it is slow.

So take that information and implement it.  Put it in your life.  Embrace it.  Okay?  Take advantage of that information as you’re starting over.  Now before I get to the meat of part 2 of today’s episode. I wanted to take a moment and do something that I haven’t in a while.  That is to acknowledge a few people and thank them for their comments on iTunes.

You know I hadn’t check there in a while.  It’s quite awhile and I noticed that we’re up to almost a hundred reviews.  That’s amazing.  I can’t mention every one’s name of course but I randomly some of the most recent.  These people logged in to iTunes, searched the Do Over, and then gave the show a rating.

What that does is that it makes the show visible within iTunes so more people can find it so it really helps a lot.  This comment comes from Bjorn Scoveland who gave a 5-star.

Thank you, Matt.  I’ve just recently discovered this podcast.  I’ve only listened to the first 10 or so but I love it.  Unlike other podcast that spend the first half of the episode self-promoting or talking about what they’ll eventually get around to talking about, Matt doves right in and gets to the point.  He’s honest too.  He doesn’t make it sound like creating the life of your dreams as a walk in the park or starting your own business is for everyone.  Being straightforward allows me to trust his advice.  This is truly amazing information for free. No strings attached.  He’s not just selling some product.  That being said, I bought his book.  Thanks again, Matt for putting so much effort into helping others.  Bjorn from Boise, Idaho.

Bjorn, you’re absolutely welcome.  Thank you for being here.

Another one comes from Bugabuga.  Honesty, believable, integrity, good person.  5-star rating.  I’m a self-help junkie when I decided to give you a chance and that was it.  I’m downloading everything he has.  What I love the most is his honesty.

Bugabuga, thank you very much.

And one more.  Pretty Dolio.  Another 5-star rating.

Hey, Matt. DJ here. I’m a 46-year old female who has been working as a registered nurse for 23 years now.  I bought a house in 2005 and now is on foreclosure because of various reasons.

Sorry about that.

I have been listening for the past few weeks.  The info you have provided has helped me think about things from a different perspective.  Thanks for the blessing.  This podcast is God sent as I begin my goal to want what I need.  Thanks, Matt.

Prettydolio DJ, you’re very, very welcome.  Thank you.  I’m glad that you’re here.

Okay. On with today’s subject.  We’ve mentioned this in past episodes but I’m going to go in a little deep and a little deeper and a little bit detailed today and give you some how-tos.

One thing that is absolutely vital with regard to how to get success is creating an empowering environment.  You’ve got to get control over your immediate surroundings.  This is saying that goes something like you are a product of your environment.  I’m sure you’ve heard that about it before.  I’m sure you heard it plenty of times.

And so much so that you probably, I don’t know, you recognize it as a cliché.  If you are perceiving this as a cliché, that’s okay.  But please don’t ignore it.  Just because you’ve heard it countless times doesn’t make it any less true.

Now there was a movie released years back called “Trading Places.”  It’s starred Dan Aykroyd and Eddie Murphy.  It’s about an experiment that these two rich guys have made about what influence someone’s life and more of what influence their results or outcomes in life more.  Was it environment or was it genetics?

And if you seen the movie, you know which side ultimately wins because the poor guy, the homeless guy, played by Eddie Murphy when his environment changed he became prosperous, clean-cut businessman.  The rich guy played By Dan Aykroyd when his environment was changed; he became the poor homeless thief.

Now it’s an extreme example I know and it is the movies but it does them a straight empower of your environment.  There’s a whole truth intertwined inside that funny, funny story.  If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it.

With that in mind, your well-served in creating an environment that will promote vital empowering behaviors rather than self-destructive ones.  Now there are many things about your life and about the world that you can’t change but then in your immediate and personal environment is an entirely different story.

You and I have an amazing amount of power around our immediate environment.  We have much more control than we actually think.  You see there’s very little in life that we must do.  There’s very little that we have to do.  My dad always used to say, “the only thing that you have to do in life is to die and pay taxes.”  Maybe your parents said something similar. I don’t know.

Now it is a rather narrow scope of life but it’s not too far form the truth. I mean there really little in life that you do have to do.  And what that really suggests is that you do have power over your decisions, over most facets of your life, and you can manipulate your environment so that your surroundings are geared as much as possible towards assisting and helping you achieve your goals rather than hindering your efforts.

It’s a way of how to get success that you can implement and by doing this you can essentially put a whole lot of your success.  Maybe not all of it but a whole lot of your success on autopilot.

Now your environment can be divided up into two parts: you have people and you have things.  You can control things but you can’t control people.  You can control I guess how you deal with them but you can’t control people themselves.  We discussed a while back in great detail how to deal with people in our environment.

It largely consists of who you choose to communicate with and how you communicate with them.  But let’s discuss the easier part today.  Let’s take on an easy assignment today. How about that?

Let’s take a part or let’s take on the part of your environment that’s easy to control, the things.  Not only do the things, not talk back but generally once you changed them, they can stay changed.  They will stay changed as long as you change them correctly so let’s go over the type of changes that I’m talking about.

These things within your environment are the spaces there that conditions that just the stuff that can sabotage you or the stuff that can support you.  Now whether objects or spaces or sights or sounds or smell, I mean everything around you are sending messages to your brain.  It all affects your thoughts.  It affects your actions so your environment is something that’s very worthy of your attention.

So how do you create a supportive environment?  Well you can change your environment with two simple actions.  You can either modify your environment or you can eliminate things from your environment.

What you’ll come to discover when decide making changes in your environment is that many of the most powerful influences in your environment are invisible.  I mean you just can’t see them.  You don’t that they are there.

This lack of awareness can literally destroy the best of your intentions without you even knowing it.  Unless you’re looking for them.  I mean these invisible things, these invisible cues, these invisible conditions can and will affect your thoughts and affects your behaviors and throw you off track.

For example, your workspace or the route that you take to get to work.  The location of your favorite supermarket, the way the supermarket is laid out, the TV shows that you watch, the commercials that come on during those TV programs, the magazine that you read, the books that you read, what you do for recreation, and so on.

I mean in all of those aspects, I mean, those represent various aspects of your environment.  You’re constantly receiving information, signals, and messages from those things in your environment.  They affect your behavior.  They affect what you do and ultimately they will affect what you have.

Now everything that I just mentioned has a dramatic impact on what you think about, what you do, and what you have in life.  Most of us fail to recognize the potency or the power of their influence on our results.  That’s we are going to talk about today and how to take control over our environment.  Okay?

So the first order of business is to look around your environment and identify the things that cause you to get off track or the things completely stop you.  Being intentional with your search, I mean if it’s a money issue that you’re dealing in your Do Over then look for the things that cause you to spend.

If it’s your motivation in your Do Over that you struggle with, look for the things that de-motivate you.  Look for the things that wear you out.  Look for the things that exhaust you or make you tired.  If it’s your weight that you’re dealing with then you might want to look for the triggers or the things that cause you to eat.

And if it’s a relationship inside your Do Over that you’re dealing with, look for the cue.  Look for the spaces. Look for the conditions or cause or contributes to you less than satisfying results.  Is there something that pushes in emotional button for you that causes you to argue?

It’s maybe something like that.  Okay?  So start looking for stuff like that.  Look being intentional about your search.  I’m sure you get the idea right now.  The one looking in your home.  You’re going to want to look in your place of business of work.  And you’re going to want to look at the path that you take to travel to and from work, to and from the grocery store, to and from school.

You’re going to want to look anywhere and everywhere of which you spend a regular amount of time or even every so often.  To give you an idea, I mean, here’s an example of the list that I created.  Shopping malls, happy hour, and convenient junk food.

I mean those are just a few environment or conditions that sabotage what I’m up to in life.  Okay?  So now is your turn.  Take some time and make a list of all the things in your life that have the potential to set you back or do you damage in any way.  Remember, you got to be thorough and I want you to take some time with this.  It’s that important.

So make a list of everything that sabotages you at home then make a list of everything that sabotages you at work.  And then if you can’t think of anything that just sabotages you in general, that would be your 3rd list.  I mean this is so, so, so important that I recommend you to press pause on this recording and just do this right now.

And maybe you’re not in the situation where you can do it right now but if you are, I recommend you stop this recording right now and do this exercise.  It is that important.  And if you can’t stop right now, be sure to come back to it.

I mean this is your life we’re talking about.  It’s that important.  All right?

So make a list of the things that sabotage you at home, the things that sabotage at work, and then make a list of the things that just sabotage you in general.  Go ahead and do that now.  I’m not going anywhere.

Okay.  Now you’ve got your list and hopefully you put some effort and some time into this.  You got to list several items.  Hopefully you came up with several items.  And once you have that list complete, the next step is either to remove, replace, or circumvent those sabotagors.

I don’t know if that’s a word but it sounds good but ultimate goal is to remove or mitigate the impact of these items from your environment so that you won’t have to rely on willpower all by itself.

It’s going to be much more easier to stay on track in your Do Over once you do this.  You see willpower is just like a muscle.  It gets tired.  It gets worn out.  And just like a muscle, it can poop out on us.  It can completely fail.  And it can fail when we need it the most.  There’s nothing wrong with strength and your willpower but for long-term results, you should leave it untested. You should only have to call on it when you absolutely need it.

To do that, all it’s going to take us a little creative planning and forethought. You just need to be proactive about altering your environment to that of a more empowering one to give your willpower a break.

So you stop making yourself wrong all the time for your failing.  Right?  We all think we are weak because we failed and we can’t resist that chocolate.  We can’t resist that new pair of shoes.  Whatever it may be.  But if you alter your environment, you’ll experience a lot less of those types of experiences.

Okay.  Now obviously there are some elements within your environment that you just can’t remove or I can’t make a shopping disappear. If you haven’t guess or know what I’m talking about, shopping malls influence me to spend more money than I would have spent if I hadn’t been in the shopping mall.

But I can pro-active about it and eliminate the shopping mall’s power than it tends to have over me.  Okay?  You see I typically go through life really not needing or wanting a whole lot.

I mean if it was Christmas time right now or if my birthday was coming up and someone asks me what I wanted.  I wouldn’t have a clue.  I just say nothing. I just come over and have a couple of drinks and have a great dinner together.

But the driving by a window of a shopping mall or store or actually walking through the shopping itself can cause me to spend and buy things I wouldn’t normally spend my money on.

All of a sudden I want everything.  All of a sudden I need everything.  Stuff that I didn’t even I wanted or needed until I got there.  So I simply just nicked in the bud.  I absolutely do not walk in the shopping mall unless there’s something specifically that I’m there for.

If I can avoid a shopping mall altogether by the route that I’m traveling, I’ll do that.  I don’t go to that extreme all the time but you know in moments of weakness, I might take the freeway and stay on the side streets so I don’t go pass the shopping mall.

Now with regard to the convenient junk food that I used to have in my house all the time, I stopped buying it.  I don’t necessarily stop eating it although I probably should.  I just made it more difficult for me to access it.

And knowing that convenience is a driving force within my environment, I subscribed to a food delivery that conveniently delivers me three meals and two snacks to my front doorstep Monday through Friday.

So this is one way that I’ve taken control over my bad eating habits.  I stopped buying junk food and storing it in the house.  I have healthy food delivered to my house.  Now there are other way you can be proactive about that without ordering your food and having it delivered to your front door step.

I mean I know a common practice amongst those that are afflicted by the same convenience issue will prepare their week’s meals on Sunday evening.  I mean that’s an alternative.

And then you have the whole week laid out.  And you got a bunch of top wearing in your refrigerator that’s easily accessible and can keep you on track with regard to your good eating habits.

I mean that’s an alternative.  One of my biggest sabotage elements of my environment is that I literally live across the street from The Staples Center.  There’s a section of The Staples Center or in that area called “L.A. Live” of where there are about 6 or 7 or maybe 8 restaurants that have amazing happy hours specials.

I love happy hour. I don’t know what it is about cheap food and social drinking. I just love it. I know it’s having an affect on my health and it’s impacting my waistline.  Partaking in that practice 2 to 4 times a week is impacting my pocket book as well.

I mean it’s just not good.  It’s not good for me.  It’s fun but it’s not good.  So for the time being, I make it a point to schedule meetings or networking events that occur at that time so I’ve taken a destructive and sabotaging behavior.  A destructive and sabotaging aspect of my environment and replaced it not only with the behavior that mitigates that destruction but rather creates and encourages more productivity.

So look at your list and start coming up ideas of how you can remove, replace, or circumvent the sabotaging things inside of your environment.  Don’t accept the excuse “I don’t know.”

I mean that’s not allowed here at the Your Do Over show.  If you listen to this show for more than a handful of episodes, you know that. You are not allowed to say “I don’t know” but if you come up against one of your one of your sabotaging things and you really don’t know how to replace or remove it or go around it.

The next question is you know the next question: if I did know what to do, what would it be?  Remember your brain is the most powerful computer in the entire world and it will answer any question you will ask of it but you’ve got to use it.  You’ve got to put it to work.  It’s your friend.

That question: if I did know what to do, what would the answer be?  It’s a great question to always ask your brain when you’re faced with “I don’t know.” Okay?  We’ve talked about that on countless episodes but it applies in every situation.

You see by using this substitution technique.  You can completely transform your environment to eliminate choice entirely leaving virtually no room for you slipping up.  It doesn’t require a whole lot of work either.  It’s not that difficult.

Just a little planning and a little bit of me time by going through this exercise and making some small changes in your behavior, making some small changes in your environment.  Actually the small change is in your environment will make the small changes in you behavior.

You see those small changes in those areas of behavior and those areas of your environment will have a large impact on the results of your Do Over.  An ancillary benefit of making these small changes, it preserves the power of your willpower so that your willpower will be there to serve you when you need it the most.

But what you want to get from all of this is that you can’t get in to trouble if trouble is not there. You can’t derail from your Do Over if there’s nothing there to derail you.  It’s okay to start small.

In fact, I encourage or I recommend you start small.  Look for the small things and make those small changes.  Once you handled then go look for some more.  Then go look for some more then go look for some more.

I mean it’s okay to gradually build doing this.  It’s going to be very difficult to change your entire environment in life all in one day so start with small steps.

The great thing about this exercise is that they are just baby steps. They’re just minor changes but they have a significant and sometimes dramatic impact on your results.  Those small changes can become amazing large impactful results.

Once you’ve removed or replaced or found ways to go round these obstacles, these challenges, and these barriers within your environment.  Once you have them all figured out how you are going to avoid them then the next thing is to look for ways to not just eliminate them but to replace them with other activities, with productive activities.

I mean when you get to this level of environment transformation.  You’re going to start experience quantum leaps in your progress.  This goes for just about everything in your environment.  No not just about everything in your environment even the media that you consume.

Begin with the small steps but keep in mind you are out to make a major transformation or a completely overhaul, if you will, of your environment.  From the books that you’re reading, the magazines that you’re reading, the music that you’re listening to, the TV shows that you’re watching, the websites that you visit, the road that you take to and from work, the food in your cupboards, the art on your walls, and on and on and on.

You’re going to look at everything that could possibly influence that of which that might de-motivate or cause you to participate in destructive behavior.  I mean this is really one of the most powerful things that you can do to produce an amazing Do Over.

Your environment is everything so doesn’t take this episode lightly.  I know.  Yeah.  That guy.  He is on to something.  I always get something when I listen to his episodes.  He is right on the money.  I agree. Your environment is everything.

It’s okay to say those things.  It’s okay to understand everything that I’ve said but it’s another thing entirely to actually take action and do these things. This is your life.  It’s going to be your results.  No actions, no results.

It’s as simple as that.  That’s it for today.  God loves you and so do I. I am Matt, the Do Over guy.  I will see you on the next episode of your Do Over.

Announcer:  Thank you for tuning in to Your Do Over, where the ignored, underestimated, and unknown steps to producing results and making life work are revealed. And remember, knowledge is potential power. Take action on what you learned today. This is not your learn over. It’s Your Do Over.

To view the resources referenced in today’s show and to retrieve a complete show transcript, visit www.TheDoOverGuy.com. Stay connected with Matt, the Do Over Guy, Theriault on Twitter at TheDoOverGuy and on Facebook at www.facebook.com/dooverguru.