3 Ways You’re Sabotaging Yourself and You Don’t Even Know It | DO 57

3 Ways You’re Sabotaging Yourself and You Don’t Even Know ItSubscribe

Every moment of every day there are three things that are controlling the direction of your life.  Some people do these things consciously, but if you’re like most people, you are doing them subconsciously and allowing them to silently sabotage your results.  Do you have any idea what they are?  Shouldn’t you?

On this episode, Matt shares three shortcuts to move these saboteurs from your subconscious to your conscious so you can control your results and live the life you’ve always wanted.

This episode will also act as a “check in” episode where you can evaluate your progress in your do over and make changes as needed.

 

5 Important Lessons from the Episode

  • There are three different types of decisions.  Your ability to consciously control those decisions, rather than letting them control you, will determine your level of success in life.  In fact, the only way to guide your results and your destiny is to take control of your decisions.
  • If your focus is on the past, your momentum will come to a screeching halt.  Any movement that you do make will be guided by fear or habit and is unlikely to help you reach your goals.
  • By assigning meaning to events in your life, you are creating an emotion.  While in an emotionally-charged state, it is easy to make decisions you wouldn’t otherwise make.  To remain in control of your destiny, you must carefully decide how to assign meaning.
  • It is easy to get caught up in your day-to-day life and forget that you are constantly making decisions, whether consciously or subconsciously.  If you aren’t guiding your own life, you will wake up one day completely unfulfilled.
  • If you’ve been “going with the flow” for some time and you’re ready to take the reins, it may take some course correction.  You must forget about the past, ignore your current trials, and focus on what you want to have happen.

 

What You’ll Learn:

  • Why you are getting the results you’ve been getting – the good and the bad.
  • What the three types of decisions are; and
  • How they are controlling your destiny whether or not you are aware of them.
  • The reason that most people are stuck dwelling on the past.
  • Why thinking something is “too good to be true” may be causing you to settle.
  • What our greatest weakness as humans is and how to fight it.
  • How to begin walking on the most certain path to success.
  • The greatest gift that you’ve been given and how to use it.
  • Why some people enjoy success in many areas of their lives while others do not.
  • Why focusing on what you want to have happen will change your destiny.
  • How one negative event is able to set the tone for your entire day; and
  • How to stop these events from controlling your life.
  • The sure-fire way to decrease your intelligence and sabotage your own success.
  • How the Law of Attraction and the power of positive thinking actually work.
  • Why many people get caught up in their current challenges and fears; and
  • How you can avoid that trap and remain in control of your destiny.
  • Why the decision to “let go and let God” could change the trajectory of your entire life.

 

Quotes

  • “If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.” – Tom Watson

 

Resources Mentioned in this Podcast:

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Podcast Transcript:

Matthew Theriault:  Hey, this is Matt, “The Do Over Guy,” and it’s about that time.  it’s time for your Do Over and it’s Episode 57.

(Voice Over): During an era where countless people, businesses, and organizations are feeling the pinch, running out of time, running out of money, losing confidence, feeling as if life is unfair, praying for another chance and unless something is done, life is going to pass them by. Life is going to pass them by.

Fortunately, in the nick of time, there is now a place where the ignored, underestimated and unknown steps to producing results and making life work are revealed. Save your career. Save your business. Save your health. Save your relationships. Save your life. Get from where you are to where you want to be, faster and with greater ease than you ever thought possible.  Say, “Hello!” to Your Do Over.

Matt: Welcome to Your Do Over, this is the place where I show people who want more out of life, people dissatisfied with their current situation.  People who are just sick and tired about being sick and tired or  even people who are cool with life but just want more out of it.  I mean this is the place where I show them all how to start over and begin a new life setting goals and objectives so they can create wealth, create financial freedom, create the lives of their dreams and just live that life to the fullest. You can get your do over started fast by laying a solid foundation where you can download the Three Pillars of creating the Ultimate Do Over and you can get that for free at FreeDoOver.com. It’s a 55-minute mp3 audio program that I put together, that I made just for you with three specific steps on how to get success as you start over and that’s yours for free at FreeDoOver.com.

So today, I’m going to call this episode the check in show. You know, together we’re going to check in to see how your Do Over is going. It doesn’t matter whether, you know, whether you’re just getting started or you’re right in the middle of it or you’ve been given it a go for a while.  You’re quite possibly considering doing over again.  I mean it doesn’t matter where you are.

I mean life is moving along.  Great for you.  You got some momentum going.  You’re getting results. Awesome.  I’m really glad to hear that but if I asked you why.  Why are you getting those great results?  Why do you have those momentum? Why are things working for you?

What would you say?  What would your answer be?  What’s causing your great results?  Now if you’re on the other side of the coin and life is not working or isn’t working as well  as you’d like.  What would your reason be as to why life is less than you want right now?  I mean whether you are getting good result or bad result, do you know why?

I mean whether you feel good about it or you’re depressed about it, do you know why you’re feeling good? Do you know why you’re depressed?  What’s controlling your destiny? I mean is it the economy?  Is it that new job?  Not really what you thought it was going to be or it is more than what you thought it was going to be?

Is it the new business that you started?  Or is it that more customers  are patronizing your company or your product or your service? Is it that you can’t find a job? Is it that you’re always tired?  You know  I get that way sometimes. Sometimes I just always feel tired.  I understand that.

Or is it that, you know, the stock market in your sector is booming.  Things are really going great in your particular sector. Or is it that the real estate market in your area isn’t bouncing back fast enough.  I mean what’s controlling your destiny?  What is it?

I mean it really could be anything though couldn’t it?  Or could it?  Or could it just be one thing?  I mean could it be actually the same thing for each and every one of you? I want you to think about that because, you know, regardless of what you think is controlling your destiny at this moment whether things are great right now or not so great.

There is only one thing controlling your results and ultimately controlling your destiny.  That one thing, that one thing is the decisions that you are making.  And those decisions, they can be divided up into three categories or three specific types of decisions.  These three decisions are the first is what you decide to focus on, what you decide to focus on? Because I mean you can focus on what happened or what is happening or you can focus on what you want to have happen.  That’s a decision that you get to make.

Second, what you decide to make things mean. What are you making things mean?  What are you deciding to make them things mean? Because, I mean you can give things any meaning that you want or you can just accept them as things, as things as what so.  That’s a decision you get to make.

The third type of decision is what you decide to do to create your results. I mean do I turn left? Do I turn right? Or do I just standby and wait? I mean those are all decisions that you can make. They’re decisions that you have absolute control over.

So those are the three decisions.  They will determine what you notice.  They’ll determine how you feel and they’ll determine what you do.  And ultimately they’ll determine the contributions that you make and who you become along the way.

The decisions are so important. They’re so big. You know, here’s a big distinction though.  Are you in control of your decisions? Or are they in control of you?

You see when you control them, you consciously decide. You control your life when you control them.  You control your results. You control your destiny. Nobody or nothing else does.  I mean you get to say what goes.  No economy. No job. Or lack thereof. No co worker. No boss. No associate. No friend.  No family member.  No customer. Nobody.  Nothing.

You get to control that.  It’s your decision.  You see most people are stuck.  They’re stuck dwelling on what’s happened in the past.  Or what is happening at the moment.

When you are, when you’re stuck in that way, when you’re focused on what’s happened in the past, and what’s happening right now, you lose power. You lose your vision. You lose momentum. You lose progress.  It’s your decisions about what to focus on?  What things mean to you and what are you going to do about them that will take you where you want to go?

The great news about that is it’s your choice.  It’s your decision. You get to decide. You are in control.  Or I should say you have the ability to choose to control your decisions.  By focusing on the past, you typically make decisions either out of, you know, reflex or fear.

For example, I’ve been in a sales. I’ve been in sales in some capacity pretty much my entire adult life.  I’ve been fortunate to represent some really great products and some really great services.

The one customer objection I never quite understood. It came out frequently but I never really quite understood it.  It was when someone chose not to make a purchase because they said it sounded to good to be true.  This sounds too good to be true.  I’m going to think about it. It just doesn’t make sense. It’s not adding up. It just sounds too good to be true.  I hear that all the time.

When I heard that, I mean it was obvious they were focused on some bad experience n the past. It was obvious they got burned somewhere. That’s understandable. We’ve all been burned. We’ve all been let down. We’ve all been disappointed and we carry that experience with us into the future.

We make new decisions based off of that past experience, but here’s the sad part about that. Sadly most people walk away from an experience such as that with the wrong lesson. They think they have some life experience.  They’ve gained some wisdom and now they’re wiser and smarter moving forward. They choose not to do things based off that past experience but that’s really like the wrong lesson.

They walk away with I’ll never try that again.  You’ll never catch me again.  You’ll never burn me again.  That’s the lesson they walk away with.  You know as humans, our greatest weakness is giving up.  It’s not trying.  That’s the greatest weakness. I mean if it didn’t work back then, you can decide to never try again.  If you do that, what do you get?  You get the same thing you got when you never tried at all.  If you’re happy with the same thing, fine. Hey, I’m not forcing you to try again

I mean if you’re happy with what you’ve got then great, however, you probably tried whatever it was because you weren’t happy with that same old thing. So you can accept the same thing or you can try again. Sadly people decide it’s too good to be true so I’ll just settle with what I’ve got.  I mean the most certain way to succeed is to try again.

The CEO of IBM, he always said if you want to double your success rate, double your failure rate. You got to try to be able to fail so you can decide to remove your focus from what happened and place your focus on what you want to have happen.

Decide what to do differently to get what you want to have happen.  Not I’m never going to try again. No. I’m going to try again. I have to try again to get what I want but I have to do something differently to make sure I don’t get what I got back then.

And, you know, these are all just decisions.  It’s probably the greatest gift God gave you.  Well again, I’ve said this before I think is the second greatest gift God gave you.  But you own the gift to decide, the gift of free will.  You own it free and clear so use it. Don’t let it use you.

Just know that if anyone is enjoying greater success than you in any area, it’s simply because they’ve made and continue to make these three decisions differently than you in some context or in some situations.  It’s really that simple. If anyone is out there and they’ve got a greater success than you in any other area that you’re trying to get success in specifically. It’s simple because make and continue to make these three decisions differently. They’re making them differently that you are.  It’s that simple.

So decide what to focus on.  That’s number one. That’s the first decision you always want to make.  I’m going to decide what I’m going to focus on. No one can tell me what I’m going to focus on.  Okay?

The simplest yet most useful way that I can pt that into effect in my own life. I haven’t found anything simpler. If you come across something simpler, please share that with me but this is pretty darn simple.  This is going to be hard to beat.

Focus always on what you want to have happen. Focus on what you want to have happen. Not what’s happening and not what happened?  Okay? Focus on what you want to have happen.

Next decide what things mean to you. You get to decide what they mean to you. And I’ll give you a couple of examples. I mean I remember hearing it awhile back. I might have used this example on the show awhile back also. It’s been awhile. We’ve been here for almost two years. Isn’t that amazing?

Anyway, I remember hearing about two brothers that grew up with an abusive father.  One of the brothers became a very successful businessman in the pillar of his community.  The other brother ended up in prison for life.  Later on down the road, they were interviewed. I forgot all the details.  Forgive me. I wasn’t, I didn’t know I was going with this but I give this example a lot because it really, it makes a great example.  That’s why I use it as an example.

You know the details aren’t really that important for this purpose but the reported had asked the successful brother, with such an abusive father, how did you become so successful?

And his answer was, with a father like I had, how could I be anything else? And when the reporter asked the other brother, the one that was in prison.  The same thing about his life, where did it go wrong? How did you end up in prison? His answer was, with a father like I had, how could I ended up anywhere else?

So the point here is the two brothers grew up in the same environment with the same father but they each decided to make what having an abusive father meant. They made that decision. I mean for one it meant, this means I can’t end up like him. I’m deciding I’m not going to be like that guy.  For the other, it meant that, you know, this means I have no choice but to end up like him so he decided to end up like him. So that’s what he made it mean.

Here’s another example.  Say if one of your close friends insults your driving ability.  Okay?  He says you’re a terrible driver. George.  You’re a terrible driver, Cindy.  Whatever it maybe.  I mean that means one thing to you coming from one of your close friends.  Right? I mean you might go, aah.  You know maybe I am. You might take it to heart. Maybe I am a bad driver or you’re foolish.  You don’t know what a good driver is.  You’re a terrible driver.  How are you going to make that mean?  It’s going to mean one thing to you.

But if you have this motorist on, that’s driving down the freeway alongside you.  He looks over and in some shape, form, or fashion, insults your driving ability.  It means something very different to you. Doesn’t it?

You see what happened was your driving ability was insulted. That happened in both scenarios. Your friend insulted your driving ability and that motorist next to you in the lane next to you.  They insulted your driving ability as well.

That’s what’s so. But in each scenario, you decided to make it mean something.  In both scenarios, you decided to make it mean something differently but the same thing happened. You decided to give a different meaning in those two different situations.  I mean could you just not have laugh off the insult by the total stranger on the freeway and the same man who did when he insulted you?

You could have.  Couldn’t you?  I mean if you did, would that have an entirely different impact on your feelings and emotions at that particular moment and likely throughout the day?  It could’ve affected your whole day.  If you got all upset and insulted that other person on the freeway back, you know, who knows where you would’ve ended up or how would you, how that emotion would have affected the rest of your day?

I mean you could’ve made that decision right?  Absolutely. You get to decide what make things mean.  By deciding what you make things mean, you control your emotions because the meaning that you assigned to something is what conjures up the emotions inside of you.

There’s a saying when emotions rise, intelligence falls. You know, Tony Robbins. You all know him.  (He’s) a hero of mine. He is my first exposure to personal development.  He is absolutely instrumental in my entire life’s success.

He has said, I forget where I read this or heard it, I’m not sure where.  But he said if he was going to give credit to one thing, to one thing that was responsible for more of his success than anything else, it was his ability to control his emotions.

That’s what he says has given him the greatest power for him to achieve, for him to control his emotions.  You control your emotions by what you attach meaning to.  Or what you make things mean, what you decide to make things mean.

So when you look at that and I look at that old saying, when emotion rises, intelligence falls. You get it because when you get all steamed up. You know, you get a little stupid and you make bad decisions.  Together those deciding what you focus and deciding what you make things mean, they’ll control your third decision that you get, that you have control over.

What to do next? What to do next is also a decision but a better decision can be made if you first decide what to focus on then decide what to make things mean then deciding what to do can frequently be a very easy decision.

I mean you can call it the power of positive thinking or call it the law of attraction. I mean call it what you want but that’s how it works.  It’s not just your thoughts. What it is your thoughts that lead to the meanings that you attach that lead to your, to the, to your emotions which ultimately leads to your actions.

It’s not just about meditating in a living room and praying for, thinking about money falling from the sky, and it’s going to happen.  No. That’s not how it works. That’s not what they meant.

So you know, call it what you want but your destiny is ultimately controlled by the decisions that you make.  Specifically, the three decisions we just discussed.  Now the majority of people, however, and this is where, I mean I’ve just said might be common sense to you.  Okay. Yeah. I get to decide.  All right.  Fine.

Well the majority of people don’t decide consciously. That’s the difference. They don’t decide consciously especially when it comes to these three crucial decisions. They are crucial.  Don’t get it twisted. I like to say. Because we don’t decide consciously, we pay a major price.

You know, life can be viewed as a river. It’s a metaphor that seems to fit for many of life’s teachings. Most people they just jump into the railroad without ever really deciding where they want to end up because they don’t and because of the river’s strong current, people get caught up. They get caught up in current events. They get caught up in current challenges. They get caught up in current fears. I actually borrowed that right there.  That little bit from Tony Robbins himself.

It just fit perfectly right there in my analogy. Now I believe that the third time I’ve given him credit for that so now it’s mine. I don’t give him credit for that anymore. That’s the rule.  That’s what they say.  And you know when people are traveling down this river and they come to the forks in the river, they don’t consciously decide where to go so they just merely go with the flow.  They do what everyone else does.  They are directed in life solely by their environment, by the current, by the flow.

And because they do what everyone else does, they get what everyone else has got.  Mostly an unfulfilling life and sadly they remain in this unconscious state until that one day when the roaring of the raging waters in the rapids wake him up. They noticed that they’re just five feet from the falls, from the giant waterfall.

They’re about to go over. They’re in a boat with no oars.  At this point, it’s too late.  They’re going over.  They’re taking the fall for sure.  That fall might be an emotional fall.  It might be a physical fall.  It might be a financial fall.  Or maybe a little bit of all of the above or a lot of all of the above.  I mean I know I’ve been in each one of those waterfalls in my life.  Looking back, each one of those falls could have been avoided with some better decisions upstream.  That really goes for, not really, it does go for whatever challenges you’re dealing with right now. They could have been avoided with some better decisions upstream. So there it is.  You are where you are.  What decisions can you make right now that can correct the course or make the course even better?

What are you focusing on right now?  What could you decide to focus on?  Here’s a hint. Decide on what you want to have happen.  Make that decision.  Decide on what you want to have happen.  Ditch the past. Ditch the current events.

What’s bothering you right now?  What could you decide to make it mean instead?  What are you attaching meaning to that’s bothering you right now?  Here’s a hint. Give it no meaning at all.  Give it no meaning at all and just let it go.

Let go and let God.  Give it no meaning at all.  Just let it go.  Here’s the third one. What are you currently doing about it? Is what you’re doing working?  What could you do differently to get a better result?  The result that you’re actually looking for.

So what are you currently doing right now about it?  About what you might be, let’s just say about your Do Over?  What are you doing about it?  Have you done anything in a while about it? Is what you’re doing working?  Maybe you’re working really hard and it’s not just working?  You don’t feel like you’re progressing.  Is it working?

What could you do differently to get a better result? What could you do to get the result that you’re actually looking for?  So here are your options.  Depending on where you are in your Do Over, you can either put both oars in the water and start paddling like crazy in a brand new direction or you can decide to plan ahead so you don’t have to paddle like crazy or you can do nothing and just go with the flow.

The great thing here is you get to decide what to do from this point, this point of you listening to my voice right now. It’s your decision. Take it. Don’t give the decision to anyone or anything else.  It’s yours.  Take it. Embrace it and use it.

That’s it for today.  God loves you and so do I.  I am Matt, the Do Over guy.  I will see you on the next episode of Your Do Over.

(Voice Over):  Thank you for tuning in Your Do Over where the ignored, underestimated, and unknown steps to producing results and making life work are revealed. Remember, knowledge is potential power. Take action on what you learned today. This is not your learn over. It’s your Do Over. To view the resources, reference in today’s show and to retrieve the complete show transcript. Visit www.TheDoOverGuy.com. Stay connected with Matt “Do Over Guy” Theriault on Twitter at the Do Over Guy and on FaceBook at www.facebook.com/DoOverGuru.

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