You Can Control It Or It Will Control You | DO 61

The Twin Forces Controlling Every Aspect of Your LifeSubscribe

If you’re having trouble getting started on your “Do Over,” it’s on purpose.  Yep, contrary to what you may believe to be true, you are purposefully not getting started.  Wouldn’t you like to know why?

On this episode, Matt reveals the forces that control every aspect of your life.  These forces govern every decision that you make and every action that you take.  Learn to control them, and you will be in charge of your own destiny.

 

5 Important Lessons from the Episode

  • If you wish to improve your situation, you must understand the twin forces of pain and pleasure.  Every moment of the day you are either striving for pleasure or you are avoiding pain.
  • For most people, the fear of experiencing pain is more motivating than the desire to experience pleasure.  You are more likely to work to prevent $10,000 from being stolen from you than you are to earn $10,000.
  • If you can’t seem to motivate yourself to commit to your “Do Over,” make a game out of it.  Announce to your intentions to your friends, family, community groups, church members, Twitter following, local newspaper, and anyone else who will listen.  Suddenly, you will feel forced to follow through because the fear of failure (pain) has suddenly become bigger than the pain you associate with just doing it.
  • If your “Do Over” requires you to engage in an activity that you dislike, you can use a simple trick to make it more appealing to you: Perform that activity while listening to your favorite music or from a pleasurable location and you will begin to condition yourself to link pleasure to that activity.
  • Oftentimes short-term pain leads to long-term pleasure and short-term pleasure leads to long-term pain.  Make the sacrifices today so that you can have greater happiness in the future.

 

What You’ll Learn:

  • The reason that you do everything that you do, in all aspects of your life.
  • How to stop living in reaction to your environment and take control of your destiny.
  • How to use the fear of loss to your advantage.
  • Why making up games with yourself may be just the motivation you need to get started.
  • Why competition is so powerful in motivation.
  • The question you should ask yourself to gain clarity into your own motivators.
  • What it takes to take control of the twin forces of pain and pleasure.
  • Why it is critical that you make and stick to a plan for your life.

 

Quotes

  • “Entrepreneurship is living a few years of your life like most people won’t so you can spend the rest of your life like most people cant.” – Warren G. Tracy’s student

 

Resources Mentioned in this Podcast:

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Podcast Transcript:

(Voice Over):  During an era where countless people, businesses and organizations are feeling the pinch, running out of time, running out of money, losing confidence, and feeling as if life is unfair. Praying for another chance and unless something is done, life is going to pass them by. Fortunately, in the nick of time, there’s now a place where the ignored, underestimated, and unknown steps producing results and making life work are revealed.

Save your career, save your business, save your health, save your relationships, save your life. Get from where you are to where you want to be. Faster and with greater ease than you ever thought possible. Say Hello to your Do Over.

Matthew Theriault: Welcome, this is episode 61 of the Your Do Over podcast and this is Matt, the Do Over Guy, Theriault. This is the place where I show people who want more out of life, people dissatisfied with their current situation, people who are sick and tired of being sick and tired or even people that are cool with life but just want more out of it.

This is the place where I show them all. I show them all, how to start over and begin a new life setting goals and objectives so that they can create wealth. They can create financial freedom. They can create the lives of their dreams and make them live that life to the fullest.

You, you can get your Do Over started fast by laying a solid foundation when you download the three pillars of creating the ultimate Do Over for free at FreeDoOver.com. It’s a 55-minute mp3 audio program that I made just for you with three specific steps on how to get success as you start over. It’s yours for free at FreeDoOver.com.

All right, so, let’s talk about your Do Over today on the Do Over show. I mean, actually, I guess we’re always talking about it but let’s talk about the Do Over that you have yet to begin or the Do Over that you have yet to take on with commitment and determination.

You know the one you’re still contemplating, the one that you’re investigating, the one that you’re researching, and the one that you’re getting ready to get ready to embark on. You know the one that you’ve actually begun and wondering if you’ve made the right decision.

The one that’s inevitable. It’s common, it’s right around the corner but you’re kind of holding on until the very end before you have to do anything. You know, that Do Over. You know the one I’m talking about, right?

I mean, it might be in your personal life, it might be looking to end a relationship or looking to start a new one. It might be physically, even thinking about shedding some pounds or you might be thinking about putting on some lean muscle mass onto your frame or maybe it’s the Over in your professional life.

Maybe you’re just, you know, you just got laid off and you’re looking what to do next, to get  a new job. Should I should get a new job, should I stay in the same industry or should I start my own business?

Maybe you have a job and it’s just no longer fulfilling and you’ve got to a make a change. Maybe you’ve lost a bunch of money in an investment and you need to Do Over your finance. Or you’ve made a little bit of your money back. Maybe  you’ve made some of that money back, seemingly with some luck, maybe.

You’re hesitating or you know, you’re hesitating on increasing your finances or making further investments because of your past experience. You might be a little bit scared about doing that. You know, like many people that I speak to. Maybe it’s a little of all of the above, right? Can you relate?

I’m sure, I mean, you’re human being in some aspect or some area of your life that you can certainly relate. So, what is it that has you struggling to take action? What is it that has you struggling to get started?

What is it that has you stuck in second gear pondering whether you should shift to third or fourth gear and when you should actually do it? I mean, you know your situation better than I do, but this is what I do know. We are not random creatures. You are not a random creature doing random things. I mean, everything we do, everything you do is on purpose.

I mean, you haven’t started that Do Over on purpose, did you know that? You’re doing it on purpose. You haven’t committed to your Do Over on purpose. I mean, what your purpose for doing so is, I don’t know.

Perhaps you don’t even know yourself, that’s okay. I mean, whether your purpose is on that the conscious level or the subconscious level, there’s absolutely one single overwriting reason behind your behaviour.

It governs every decision you make and every action that you take. I mean, it’s every decision, every action and every category that I previously mentioned. I mean, your personal life, your professional life, your spiritual life, your physical life, it governs and impacts all areas of your life.

In fact, it’s got a hold of you and impacting your very being right now, right this very second. I mean, everything that you and I do, every decision that we make and every action that we take, we do to either gain pleasure or avoid pain. We do everything, every decision we make, every action that we take is either to gain pleasure or avoid pain, pleasure or pain.

So, if you haven’t embark on that new fitness program, it’s because that you associate more pain with starting it than you do the pleasure that you’ll attain from the fitness program’s results. If you haven’t ended that your relationship yet, it’s because you associate more pain to ending that relationship than you do the pleasure that you’d gain from being out of it.

Haven’t started that new job or that new business yet? Because whether consciously or subconsciously, you are associating more pain by starting it than you associate with the pleasure you’ll receive from doing so or the pleasure that you’re currently experiencing. I mean, perhaps, you know, this is a simple concept for you to grasp and maybe not.

Maybe you are right there with me, you get every sentence and word I’m talking about or this is the first time you ever heard of something like this. You are still thinking about it. Well, regardless of where you stand within this concept, understanding this concept and using this concept is what will be needed to create improvements in your situation and for those improvements to be lasting.

Disregarding this idea or underestimating the power of that pleasure and pain has over your life and your future will have you forever living a life reacting to the external forces of the world, to your environment, to whatever crosses your path, you just kind of react, you kind of go with the flow.

I mean, it’s kind of like, bouncing around like a little steel ball in pinball machine. Understanding it and implementing the force of pleasure and pain will give you the power to navigate through the bumpers, to avoid the levers. I mean, those are my pinball metaphors. I was searching for another but then I started to think, “I haven’t seen a pinball machine in a very long time, right?” Hopefully, we all know what a pinball machine is. I’m going to assume that you do. I think it’s a safe assumption; I’m not ready to admit aging myself with that reference just yet.

So, for most people, the desire for pleasure or gain is typically overridden by their fear of pain or loss. For example, what would drive you more, preventing someone from stealing the $100,000 dollars you’ve worked so hard for over the last five years or the potential of earning $100,000 in the next five years? Which would drive you more? Which force would drive you more?

You know, the truth to the matter is that most people I’m darn near say all people would fight more for what they already have than they would for fighting for what they want to get or could get. It’s just the way it is, it’s more painful to lose the $100,000.

That’s a stronger driving force within you to protect that $100,000 than the driving force will have you to go out and earn that $100,000. Does that make sense? It’s just really the way it is. We are human and human beings, that’s how we function.

So, now know that though, you can use these distinctions to your favour or these distinctions will use you to your detriment. You can use these distinctions to your favour or these distinctions will use you to your detriment.

You see whether you believe it or not, what you associate pleasure with and what you associate pain with, that’s going to shape your life. Think back at a moment of your life where you actually reached the point where enough is enough, “I’ll never do that again.”

And you really did never did it again. I mean, I remember one of those moments for me when I was twenty-five years old, I think, twenty-four, twenty-five years old. I remember is at my mom’s house and I saw a photograph of myself and it was a photograph of myself.

It was a photograph that has just been taken a couple weeks previously. I saw the picture of myself and I didn’t recognize myself. It was such a surreal experience and I was like, “Who’s that?” and my mom looked at me like I was kidding or joking but I really didn’t recognize myself.

I had to reach almost; I think I was right at 240 pounds and 5’11”. I had no idea how I really look. It was a very, very painful day. My weigh fluctuated since but I’ve never been close to that weight again. The pain was so huge to have seen a picture of myself and not recognize myself. I don’t know if any of you have ever done that.

I don’t know if this was unique experience but it blew me away. I mean, I didn’t have this pleasure/pain distinction then but it didn’t matter, it’s still there. Whether you choose to believe it or not, it’s still there, it’s still there, it’s still governs your life whether you’re in control of it or not. The pain was natural and I’ve never been back to that weight because it was a real pain, it was a real shocking moment and I’ve never been back to that weight.

The heaviest I’ve gotten since was like 225 pounds. Since memory of what that felt like at 240, anytime I approach like 220 range, it just rushes into me and I go into an immediate diet and fitness mode because I remember what that was like. It was so painful it’s like I don’t even have to make a decision to start working out again.

I don’t have to make decisions to start watching what I’m eating, it just happens because the pain was so intense and it’s so vivid, the memory is so vivid but now I mean, my weight does still fluctuate so it’s obvious that I get to a point in my weight, in my physical appearance and how I feel where it’s more painful to stay on my diet and fitness mode than it is to indulge in good food and drinks.

Sleep in rather waking up early to hit the gym. Now, I’ll be using that distinction because I’m at a point right now, I really made a commitment just last year about around my health, around my fitness. I have this distinction and I’m using it right now. You see, I’m going to make a public display of my appearance, and I’ve lost 20 pounds this year.

I’ve been comfortably hovering right around 200 pounds for the last, 5 months or so. One of these plateaus but even though I feel good, most of my clothes fit again but I’m just not where I want to be physically. So, armed with this distinction, this pleasure/pain distinction, I’ve got to make it more painful for me to stay right here at 200 than my desire for pleasure at what I’m guessing is, I don’t know, probably at a 180 pounds. I think I got another 20 pounds to lose and I’ll really be feeling good.

That’s why I think I’ll be very comfortable with my parents and I just want to get back to a 32-inch waist in my jeans. I haven’t been there since I think my, there’s senior in high school and I hit it again around 35, 36 years old, somewhere around there.

Anyway, so I’m just making a public declaration to post my before and after pictures on my website, 60 days from today. Today is September 16, is when I’m recording this. So, 60 days from today, so check the website, November 15, I guess, we’ll just make a nice round number. November 15 and I’m going ahead to post my pictures, all right? You see, the reason I’m going to do that is because that would be a very painful experience. It would be very painful for me to give my word to you and not keep it.

I mean, how would I look if I don’t follow through, if I don’t follow the advice that I gave. I mean, it could be the end of my podcast career. It could ruin my credibility. That would be very painful for me. So, I’m declaring it today, okay? Additionally, I mean, I’m not really excited about posting an out of shape picture of myself on the website either. That would also be very painful.

Though, what I’m going to do with this distinction is creating a situation of where the pain of not achieving my goals outweighs the pleasure of achieving, makes sense? It’s just a game; you don’t have to take it all that seriously if you don’t want to. It’s just a game that I get to play with myself to achieve what I want to achieve my goals.

You can do it too. You can do it in any area of your life to any degree. I mean, if we linked massive pains to any behaviour or result, we avoid indulging in that behaviour or experiencing the result at all cost. Armed with this distinction and the understanding of it, we can virtually change anything in our lives. I’m just choosing at this moment to deal with my weight. My weight isn’t even that big of a deal, I just want to be in a great shape.

So, that’s where I’m using it. You get to use it wherever you want. You can just do this in any area of your life. I just like to use games around these distinctions. I’ve talked about this before in the past episode, actually probably couple past episodes with regard to throwing you hat over the wall or with regard to putting your butt on the line.

So, where can you create some games in your lie, using this distinction: The types of games around pleasure/pain that will advance your Do Over forward. Where can you mitigate some of the pain from your most painful activities? So, you actually do that, the activities, you know, those activities that you just don’t want to do every day that you know you should be doing.

I mean, I remember when I did a lot of prospecting to distressed home owners as a real estate investor. Even as a real estate agent, I did this actually started as a real estate agent, I just hated calling people asking them if they wanted to sell their house. I hated it.

I hated it so much but I knew it was I had to do to get the results that I wanted. I mean, I could sit around and wait like the other real estate agents for the business to come to them or I could go out there and get it and really excel my career and speed up my results.

So, what I would do is, I would go to the beach, a place I truly love to be and I’d make my phone calls there. So, I took this really awful painful experience that I hated doing and I combined it with something that I really enjoyed. What happened is was the calls weren’t so bad there.

Still didn’t like them much but I enjoyed the beach so much it offsets the pain quite a bit of making those calls and I would just pretend I’ll play this game where I pretended that I was some real estate mogul making business call while I was on vacation at some tropical resort. That is what’s so great about this, it’s your game, and you get to make the rules. You get to make the rules of your game.

That particular game, that just work for me and I got my results because I made those calls all the time so I knew I got to go to the beach in the afternoon to make those calls. Now, you don’t have to go to the extremes by posting your before and after pictures in the Internet.

You don’t have to do anything like that but I do recommend giving something extreme a shot, give it a try, because it is that extreme pain that is really going to get you into action. It’s going to get you the results that you’re looking for.

I recommend you to try something extreme. You don’t have to because it works on every level but if you want awesome,  awesome results, try something extreme just to see the results you get. I said it so many times and I’m going to continue saying as the wisdom is indisputable, you know, if you want something you don’t have, you going have to do something you’re not doing.

Likely, almost assuredly, you’ve linked some sort of pain, whether consciously or subconsciously, to whatever it is you’re not doing, follow me? So, creating games around those painful activities, creating games around that thing or those things that you’re not doing to get what you don’t have. That’s the only way you can get it by doing those things.

If you could have it without doing those things, you probably have it, right? So creating games around those painful activities, either make it more enjoyable, like going to the beach or your favourite place.

Maybe you’re in the Midwest or you don’t live close to a beach, that’s fine, maybe it’s a lake or maybe it’s a stream or maybe it’s the library or maybe it’s the stadium where you used to play football or something like that, just your favourite place. I mean, if you could do them mobilely, go for it. Or here’s another network, buddy system, doing it with a friend.

Take a buddy with you. Do it together. That always makes things more enjoyable or create some sort of competition with a co-worker and place a wager on it. Don’t do something small like a cup of coffee at the end of the week, whoever wins. You know; make it something that’s going to be painful if you lose. Listen, this is actually very serious business.

I mean, this is your life. I like to use a game to assist me when I think or what I link to pleasure and what I link to pain. I just use a game and I’m sharing that game with you because it’s what most people do. People like to play games.

They like to think its life or death but in a sense, it could be for you. It actually, it is. I mean, there is an entire science around this subject of pleasure and pain, a science of which I’m not an expert at by any means. I do, however, understand the concept.

I understand how to use it as much as possible so that it uses me as little as possible. You got it? I understand it so I can use it as much as possible so that it uses me as little as possible. If you fail to take control, if you fail to take these proactive actions around what you associate to pleasure and pain, you’re living no differently, certainly no better than animals and machines that just continually  react to their environments.

Giving massive amounts of power to the next thing that crosses their path to dictate what direction you’re headed of which, you know, ultimately determines the quality of the life that you lead. You got to take control of this.

Now that you’ve understand it, you got to use it so it doesn’t use you. Again, books have been written about this one subject and it goes much deeper than what I’ve touched on today. I’ve scratched the surfaced today. If you want lasting change, I recommend reading some additional material but I’ve given you enough to be conscious to positively impact your life right now with regard to your current decisions, your current actions.

As soon as you’re done listening to this episode, ask yourself, “Why am I doing what I’m doing right now? What pleasure am I gaining right now?            What pleasure do I plan to gain by what I’m doing right now? What pain am I avoiding right now?”

Probably a more powerful question there. So, ask yourself these questions frequently throughout the day and you’ll start to learn a whole lot about yourself. There’s nothing more powerful that knowing what makes you tick.

Further, knowing how to make yourself tick to get the results that you want and it’s all found in this pleasure and in this pain principle. We’re all different, no two of us are alike but what we all do have in common is that every moment of the day, we are striving for pleasure or we are avoiding pain.

Typically, what I’ve noticed is that, short term pain leads to long term pleasure. Short term pleasure leads to long term pain. So, as you start to recognize the short term or current pains that you avoiding right now in exchange for some short term pleasure.

That exchange is leading you long term pain. For example, you’re avoiding going to the gym and in its place, you are experiencing some short term pleasure by sleeping in or sitting on the couch or kicking your feet back and cracking open a cold one and drinking a beer.

See, you’re avoiding the pain of going to the gym, that is a short term pleasure of which leads to long term pain, makes sense? Conversely, when you take on those short term pains like actually going to the gym, I mean, you stare them in the face, you suck it up and you get to work, that leads to long term happiness, long term pleasure, and long term comfort.

I suppose this was the foundation of my all-time favourite quotes, a quote that I’ve embraced over the years. I’ve embraced right at the beginning of my Do Over and it’s forever changed my life and it’s a concept that still very instrumental of my results today.

That quote is, I don’t even know where I heard this verb the first time and it’s got different variations to it but if you do for the next few years what most people won’t do, those painful things, you’ll be able to do for the rest of your life what most people can’t do, those pleasurable things. Get it?

If you do for the next few years what most people won’t do, you’ll be able to do for the rest of your life what most people can’t do. I’ve just embraced that and used that to my advantage. I got to tell you, sometimes it doesn’t take two years, sometimes its three years, sometimes it’s for yours, and sometimes it’s a year and a half.

These last six months have been probably the best six months of my entire Do Over. I’ve accomplished more the last six months than I have did probably end up previous three years. So, but just know that the short term pleasure, the short term avoiding of pain in exchange for that short term pleasure, leaves to long term pain.

Taking that short term pleasure leads to long term pain, taking on and staring at that short term pain in the face leads to long term pleasure. So, if you do for the next few years what most people won’t do, you’ll able to do for the rest of your life what most people can’t do.

That’s it for today, if you want to dig deeper into the subject for yourself, I kind of mention some additional reading. I highly recommend that you do dig deeper into this, it’s just your Do Over, and it’s just your life that we’re talking about here. Grab yourself a copy of Awaking the Giant Within by Anthony Robins.

Say what you want about it. You might have a preconceive notion about him and his infomercials and what he’s about. It doesn’t matter, the guy hits the nails right on the head when you actually dig into his content and listen to what he is saying.

So grab yourself a copy of Awaken the Giant Within. I read this book at least once a year and I’ve been doing that for 10 years, I believe. No, it’s been out for 10, 11 years. I picked the book at maybe five or six years ago but once a year, actually a couple of those years I read it twice a year. It’s just as valid today as it was when it was released. You don’t even need his new programs. This book will do it all for you. So grab that book and read chapter 3.

Today, it’s probably the best content I’ve read on the subject matter and as Tony so eloquently puts it in this chapter, If you don’t have a plan for your life, someone else does or something else does.

You got to be pro-active about it, you got to create your plan and you know how to do that and stick to your plan by using this concept of pain and pleasure, okay? Because if you don’t have a plan for your life, someone else does. You can control this pleasure/pain force or it will control you.

That’s good news by the way, not depressing, that’s really good news. You see, you have a choice; you have a choice to control your life. You’re not sentenced to a life of pain because this force exists. You can actually create a life of pleasure because this force exists.

It’s good news, you have a choice. You have a choice to control your life and your results in your life or not. It’s not complicated either. Don’t be daunted by this concept. Be excited about it. You just have to make the choice and do it, alright? God loves you, and so do I. I am Matt, the Do Over Guy, and I will see you on the next episode of your Do Over.

Voice Over: Thank you for tuning in to your Do Over. Where the ignored, underestimated, and unknown steps to producing results and making life work are revealed and remember, knowledge is potential power. Take action on what you’ve learned today.

This is not your learn over, it’s your Do Over. To view the resources, reference in today show and to retrieve a complete show transcript, visit www.Thedooverguy.com. Stay connected with Matt, the Do Over Guy, Theriault on twitter @thedooverguy and on Facebook at www.facebook.com/dooverguru.

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